Lovin' Summer

Summer is the best time of year hands down, especially in Idaho. After the long and painfully slow start, the last two weeks have been lovely. I am loving the heat, the cool nights, and the occasional thunderstorm. I can't believe it is already August. With Mark receiving treatment, the weeks seem to fly by as I wish them away for weekends so we can be together. Sadly, since life has been crazy busy, running has taken a dive, and I realized tonight that there is no way I will be ready for the marathon in September. If anyone wants to pretend to be me, your fees are paid!

My brothers have been up the past week or so and it has been so good to be together as a family. It seems few and far between that we are all together. I have had a great time getting to know my nephews better. They are at a fun age. Family truly is where happiness lies. I just wanted to jot a quick post with some pictures to let everyone know we are alive and well. Mark is a champ and has had no sideaffects yet of radiation. It has been great. His hair is growing back and there is a light at the end of this tunnel!

My new baby Chula and Mark's adorable niece. It was a little hot this day, but lovely none the less.

Chula is so much smaller than Sonny. These two horses were angels letting the kids ride them all over.

The cute grandbabies loving family picture day.

Mark loving family picture day. I love how the sun is only shining on me and making my hair look pretty much not good.

I love these handsome boys! I used to hate being the only girl when I was a little one. As I have grown older, I realize I wouldn't want it any other way. These brothers are the best out there.

I must have won the lottery and got stuck in between Mess 1 and Mess 2. Seriously was surprised I came out of there alive with no ketchup splatters. See what happens when Mark leaves me to ride solo?

That is just a smidge of current life. I just wanted to let everyone know we are alive and well. The clouds seem to have lifted and Mark and I are feeling so joyous and so blessed.!

Busy doing.....nothing?

I am sure by now I have lost my faithful following; my posts continue to get fewer and further between. Honestly, our lives have become a little boring the last few weeks and I didn't want to bore the world with the details. For some reason, the boredom has taken up a bunch of time. I feel like my time is constantly going somewhere, but not entirely sure where. Work has kept me on my toes, and when I come home out of the sun, I crash! Between intramurals, mutual, adoption classes, and riding horses, our nights have been full as well.

As far as an update, I will start with the promised pictures. Perhaps one of my favorite days of the summer was the 25th of June, the date of my last post. The Relay for Life was better than expected. It was an emotional experience for me, I was slightly surprised at the tears I shed at this event. It seems that since Mark has handled treatment so well, I often place him in his own category--not a "true" cancer patient. I hear too many other stories that make Mark's experience seem like a cake walk. However, the Relay for Life reminded me that Mark is indeed a fighter and a survivor and cancer is cancer. Cases and treatment differ, but in the end it is a big 'ole group and we are trying to find a cure for it all. I am consistently moved by my little hero Ironman Jace. This night was no different. We were fortunate enough to camp out at his Jamba Team tent for awhile. He looked amazing! I received a Team Jace shirt and continue to wear it proudly. Ironman is a champ and a hero, and someone who has touched my life forever. These pictures are just too cute:

This last picture is like my personal "cancer cool kids club" shot. My big hero, my little hero with his amazing dad, and our incredible hero doctor. Words can't describe!

Mark and I walking the survivor lap together.

I loved seeing members of our ward and the community supporting cancer research and cancer patients. Heartwarming! I love living in a place where people care about each other. Selfless volunteers who braved the lightning storm and walked all night. Thanks to you all! I even had a cousin who walked in behalf of Mark and other Lymphoma patients specifically in her local Relay for Life in Arizona. Amazing! She sent Mark and I special shirts with green writing. Green apparently is the color representing Lymphoma. Never knew until she pointed it out to me. As an avid t-shirt collector, I appreciate my new special collection of cancer shirts. Love 'em.

That night my favorite little buddy made it home from Poland. BJ is one special kid, I think all who know him would agree. He makes me laugh and we have the best time together. I am glad I have a movie and treat partner back. Our family is pretty low-key and we never got into the whole airport display fiasco. As this was our last returning missionary, I felt a little bummed about our lame production. I decided to hit the Budget Car Rental counter to make things right and made this beauty. I wanted a post-it note to make it really special, but this was the best they had:

You can't read it, but it says "Welcome Home Chubbs" ( a nickname given to BJ for obvious reasons;) )

This isn't a great picture, but this little guy has been one of the reasons the past month has been a blast. His name is Chula's Short Dual, but we just call him Chula. He is only 4, but has had a great start to him. I am a little afraid my riding inabilities might ruin all he knows, but so far he has been a great horse. The best part? He loves to be spoiled and loved on, which honestly ranks pretty high on my must have list. He will eat the treats I bring him, and he loves to be groomed. I was pretty much hooked after that. He isn't a bad ride either. He has great bloodlines and might be one of the fanciest things we own. I feel like he is Cadillac and I should only be allowed to touch Geo Metros.

The next month is looking pretty up and down at the moment. I have one more week of work and then summer break. All my brothers are coming home with their kids and I am so excited for some quality family time. I finished our paperwork and profiles for another adoption agency (in addition to LDSFS), and things might work quicker down this road. I seriously can't wait! The big downer is that Mark starts radiation on Monday. I have liked not having to see the inside of a doctor's office. Last Friday we spent a good 5 hours at Huntsman's getting Mark ready to go. He will need to have 20 treatments, 5 each weekday until finished. He has an amazing assortment of tatoos, none of which are cool. I tried to tell the people to make little hearts or stars but apparently wasn't listened to. The radiation oncologist decided to radiate his chest and his hip, initially it was only going to be his chest. Huntsman's seems to be a little more thorough and aggresive, which is fine by us. We are ready to be done for good and forever. It stinks that Mark's energy level will sink again and we are back to the cancer world, but at least we can see the finish line.

On a complete side note--my thoughts and prayers have been with the Sullenger family. Once again, I am grateful for a community who cares about each other, and the internet with its amazing ability to connect people and make miracles.

I will try to make life exciting and useful so I can update my blog more readily. I will work hard to earn you faithful readers back!

An Exciting Day!

Aside from being a summer Friday, today is even more exciting than usual. My little brother gets home from Poland late tonight and I seriously can't wait! If he misses a flight connection, I might love him less--just kidding, but I will be dissapointed. Also, tonight is the Relay for Life. We didn't think we would be able to participate, but because BJ's flight comes in so late, Mark is hoping to make it into the survivor lap at 6:00. I am looking forward to being a part of things tonight. I hope it isn't too late to find a way to be involved.

Now, for the most exciting part (insert drum roll) We are officially approved for adoption!!! I know the journey is ongoing, and is sure to be challenging, but can I just say that being approved seems like a giant, liberating leap? I basically finished all of our paperwork and questionaires in January, before life flipped us out of the boat. It was crazy getting on the internet this morning and seeing all the work we had done 5 months ago. I had to fight every urge to change everything. It is scary writing something knowing what a huge difference it could possibly make, or not make for that matter. Writing our birth parent letter was so difficult. I felt it was so genuine and exactly how Mark and I felt. With that being said, when I read it now, I worry about how it comes off to others, since they don't know my mind as well as I do. Since I want it to remain active, (if I change it, it deactivates) I am refusing to make changes so it can remain available, for at least a few days before I can't take it anymore. I saw one or two silly errors that will probably add to some sleepless nights. Oh grammar and proof reading--when will the day come that things are just perfect the first time?!?!

I, for the most part, am a selfish person. This blog has been so great and uplifiting for Mark and I. We have loved sharing our story because of the outpouring of love and support we receive from all of you. It is a selfish vehicle. Do any of you feel used yet? We have come to lean on all of you so much and appreciate words of kindness, support, and love. If you didn't feel used before, maybe you will now. Please help spread the word that Mark and I are looking to start our family through adoption. Share it far and wide, yell it off of mountains. Spread it like wild fire! If anyone knows anyone, who knows anyone, who might be considering an adoption plan, tell them about Mark and I. We have been attending adoption classes, and each week we are taught the importance of networking and being proactive. This is my first feeble, possibly cheating, effort at it. I have posted our adoption profile number above our ticker, and in our information. For the record, our profile can be seen at itsaboutlove.org. Our profile number is 24368592. I should see if I can make the number attention grabbing like all those infomercials,  1-800-Jenny or something. 2gently2 is the best I could come up with...not so much...Regardless,  if anyone is interested, refer them to the blog or itsaboutlove.org.

Sorry for the advertising, but honestly, we appreciate it! We are so excited to move ahead. Hopefully, in the next few days  I will have some good pictures to post of BJ, the Relay for Life, and the new toy Mark and I have been riding all week. It was about a year ago that my mare got hit by a car,  and I finally think I found a legitimate bandaid. We love our new gelding! Pictures to come:)

Crossing the Finish

Why is it that life and running share so many similarities and lessons? Finishing is always sweet, so why the tears and mixed emotions every time I finish a race?  I don't believe we finished this race this majestically. We are actually not pictured in this photo finish, we are just out of view behind those white dashes. Mark and I have been crawling from behind for the last two months. To be honest, this trip has flown by. It seems like only yesterday we were dumped on our heads, but we knew this day would come. It went fast, but it wasn't always easy. There were many lessons and uplifting moments, followed by despair and frustration. I had a lot of shameful moments and shameful thoughts, times where it felt like life was unfairly picking on us. I played the blame game on occasion and wanted to quit a time or two. A wise mother told me on one of these bitter days, that I needed to recognize A positive, just one; look at ways help was being sent from above. I have come to the conclusion that finishing the journey was made possible only by flying on the wings of others, angels among us that carried Mark and I when we needed it the most. We have greatly appreciated the love, thoughts, prayers, well wishes, dinners, surprises, phone calls, notes, donations, listening ears, friends, and countless other ways we have been blessed by service. Honestly, we have leaned so heavily on others, in a way, I am sad to see it end. I hope we can remember how to stand on our own.

This picture was taken by Mark, from his hospital bed, the day he was diagnosed. I hope we never forget the feelings we had that day. It was a day when nothing mattered but each other, our families, our friends, and our faith. Not that I want many similar experiences, I will say that this was a humbling experience and maybe something we needed to re-evaluate our priorities and teach us to rely on Heavenly Father and those around us. It was this day, that I realized I loved and cherished Mark more than I thought capable, and I was grateful that if I had to walk through a storm, it was with him.

The first dose of chemo

The empty bag of his final chemo drug, for the last time:

Getting meds before his last lumbar puncture:

It was a little bitter sweet to walk into the clinic today knowing we wouldn't be as close with our special friends. Cancer nurses are incredibly special people and will hold a piece of our hearts forever. We have met and built bonds with so many others; it has been an incredible blessing. There is an immediate connection when you know someone else is currently waging a war of their own. The nurses pulled out all the stops today and definitely brought tears to my eyes as they presented Mark with a completion certificate and sang a song of celebration. Seriously, they sang! They claimed they didn't know how to dance. Mark and I should have pressed and held out for the dance. I think we could have urged it out of them in time. When we come back, we will expect some actions or something Linda:) Oh, and we love you!

This is Linda presenting the certificate of completion:

We love everyone at Teton Oncology. Everyone from the front desk, to the nurses, to the doctors, to the other patients. I don't want to wish anyone to have to go there, but it is an upside if you find yourself in a similar predicament. Maybe we should convince them to provide a different service like a good car wash. Everyone likes a good, reliable car wash now and then.

Even though chemotherapy is done, Mark has a good cooling down period before we are officially done. In a few weeks, he will start radiation which will continue for thirty days. We will think of this as a good cool down and stretch. There will be a few side affects, but it should be "easy" compared to what he has already gone through. He does have a few whiskers on the top of his head. Hopefully these will multiply and his eyelashes will come back soon. After radiation, he will have his final PET scan to ensure everything looks as good as they did halfway through treatment. Then, the port will come out and he will be continually monitored and having CT scans for a few months. Over time, these will fade out and we will go in less and less. Here's to hoping we have beaten good once and for all. I don't know how optimistic I would be about a round 2.

In other news, I decided to ugly up my dog. Mark hates the excessive hair and wished that Roxy would follow the example of other friends who have shown support by shaving their heads. So, today Roxy went in for a shave down. At least she now matches the patch of missing hair she was supporting after the attack. She once had a beautiful, flowing coat. She now looks like this:

She is still cute in the eyes of her mother. And she has a cute handkerchief. She does seem to be sulking about being bald though. However, I think she will find this to be much cooler. Her long coat tended to collect the assortment of goods when we took her horseback riding and exploring. Mark suggested we tell her she is a good dog more often and give her more food and we will shortly be forgiven. I am sure he is right.

We are still waiting to for our adoption home study to be completed. If anyone wants to urge LDSFS along, feel free. The, "It will be done next week" has been going on for about 5 now. Another lesson on patience I suppose. I guess it is preparing us for the amount of waiting we will do once we are actually approved. I start a whole bunch of classes Monday, outside, so pray for warm weather. It was supposed to be summer by second block so I wouldn't freeze all day every day. Thank you all again for your love and support. We send it right back! I will try to post a little more regularly. I take a hiatus if I can't say anything nice. I would rather not display my crappy attitude. We hope the ride is only up from here!

This final picture is of our front door. Wonderful friends braved the wind to hang balloons and these encouraging stars. Thanks guys! Hopefully they stay on for awhile. They are too cute and bring a smile:)

The Adventure

Our trip to Seattle already feels like forever ago. I think that last week was l-o-n-g. With Mark and I both sick, we pretty much camped out in our front room. I eventually went to the doctor and am awaiting some blood work. I have had some swollen lymph nodes, and one has become quite painful. I know it is just infection, but I am prone to worry. We used to just get sick, now getting sick brings a whole new realm of possibilities. The doctor felt the swelling and commented about it, sarcastically mentioning the chances of both of us having lymphoma are not that good. In my head I thought, "Hmmmmm, Mark and I seem to beat all sorts of odds. We are the luckiest people ever. One in a million right?" Needless to say, I am not worried about anything too serious. Honest. Out of curiosity, however, I did check the internet. I will say it was a wealth of information and I could have AIDS, syphillis, mono, lymphoma, or melanoma. I don't really like any of those.......:) If I do have something awesome, we are so playing the lottery this week!

Back to our Seattle trip, Mark and I did have a little adventure. He was basically sick the whole time, but he gave it his best effort. The weather was perfect and the area is gorgeous. We started the trip off with a bang. Mark turned down a map repeatedly, feeling completely confident in our Garmin. After some fiddling in the local pancake house parking lot, he decided the old fashioned way might not be so bad. We retraced our steps back to retrieve the map. The map meant well, but only a few roads were actually labeled and our hotel was in a suburb not even on the map. Helpful. Being an incredible navigator, I finally got us on the right interchange. The only problem was no one was moving, and cars were actually turned off. It didn't feel promising. Mark asked if I knew another way. Really?? We ended up taking the lead from some other unsafe drivers and BACKED up off  the ramp and headed down a different one. Somehow, two hours later, we found ourselves on a road located on the map, heading in the opposite direction of our hotel location. About the same time I tried my luck with lady Garmin. Why I didn't demand my turn earlier who knows. I got it working within a few pushed buttons and it eventually gave great directions to our hotel.

Learning that yes, I am indeed better at navigating, was just one of the many lessons learned on our "vacation". We also learned to never go on a trip alone together, again. We are boring. We didn't know what to do in our free time. Mark talked on the phone with clients a lot, and I tried to find something entertaining. Mark had to eat ALL the time and since it took a while to get anywhere, I think we spent most of our time driving places to eat. Maybe Mark was sick, but I swear I forced some good conversation that just didn't take. I learned that I could never live in a big city, Mark shouldn't be allowed to drive in one, and I will not show Mark cool Nikes I like, he will buy them for himself first. Mark and I grew increasingly aware we were small town folk. Deciding to fancy things up, we ate at the Space Needle. It didn't seem too expensive on the internet, 35 dollars average for dinner. They don't mention salad, appetizers, sides, and garnish are all additional charges. Plus, they have a 35 dollar minimum. I wasn't that hungry, Mark was on a 2 hour feeding schedule and I wasn't used to that. All I really wanted was something off the appetizer menu, but it was 35 bucks anyway ya sliced it so I ordered me up some food off the big menu. During dinner, I somehow got my shoe stuck on a heat vent. Did I mention the restaurant rotates? It does, but not the outer wall. We were on the verge of a serious problem, an embarassing problem. I freed my foot just in time. After meeting some interesting people that wouldn't quite fit in here in the bubble and trying not to show the shock on our faces, we decided we had had enough of downtown Seattle. Luckily, I was able to walk out with both feet.

Our homeward journey had a few more lessons just in case we hadn't had enough. FYI, Hyundais run a few miles on empty, there is traffic on the interstate all the time, and the best time to hit the Seatac airport is 2 on a Saturday afternoon. No one was there--or spoke English. I was trying so hard not to be rude, but I think I gave my fair share of blank stares, trying to figure out what they had just told me. Arriving at security, we met our first American, English as a first language worker. I wanted the nice, hard to understand people back. They were at least friendly and patient. There was NO ONE in front or behind us, but the lady decided I somehow was holding up time as we knew it. She rolled her eyes as I started the security process, making me a little flustered. She was pretty disgusted with me dropping my shoe, struggling with my belt, and trying to use the buckets provided. Our little airport makes you put everything in buckets, she wanted everything on the conveyer belt. She did her best to motivate me, but the more she barked, the more nervous I became and the harder it was to get everything the way she wanted. I would hate to see how she was in a stressful situation and with an actual amount of people there.

Mark and his seagull friend eating fish and chips at the pier. This was maybe the third meal of the day?

This girl was much more daring than we were. I made the smart choice and sat us under the overhang where we could watch the seagulls in safety. She trusted they wouldn't leave her presents I guess. I was willing to share Mark's food, but I didn't trust they would keep the after effects to themselves.

The seemingly innocent, but dangerous needle with its rotating tricks. It took a while to get used to, and after it had lulled me into complacency, it struck! Oh, and did you know that you can see mountains in Alaska from the top?? Hehe, this what Mark pointed out, I knew he meant Canada and was exaggerating that even, but ALASKA?? WOW! That is amazing. I should be nice, he has chemo brain, but it was fun teasing him about it for awhile. Nice weather though!

Really pretty, actual view from the top. Did you know that these buidlings are actually in Alaska? Ok, it is just downtown Seattle, but still pretty cool.

Overall, I am glad we were able to get away from home, even for just a few days. I wish Mark would have felt better, and we would have had a better agenda, but Washington is one of my favorite places to visit. Can't say we didn't have a learning adventure. On the trip, we did get a call from our social worker. We hope to be approved by the adoption committee in the following week. Hurray! Four months and counting......

Yuck

Just a quick update to let everyone know what has been happening lately. I will have to post pictures when I have more time. Mark and I went to Seattle last week. It was beautiful and sunny there, go figure. We had a good time. It felt good to get away. We haven't ventured far from the house in MONTHS. However, Mark was basically sick the entire time. He has been feeling down for about 3 weeks and couldn't kick it. He took a Z-Pack last week and it didn't do a thing. He fought a fever all day Sunday so I knew things weren't well. Monday was supposed to be chemotherapy, but we discovered that he had pneumonia. No chemo this week at all. He did receive IV antibiotics and some more pills. He has started to feel a little better, but I caught whatever bug he had and have been fighting it the last few days. I guess it is my turn to be sick. I don't know how you moms do it! Taking care of kids when you feel terrible. I was grateful I could mostly just veg. I did have to go to work both days, but I survived.

I will have to dedicate a special post about our Seattle adventure. Mark and I solidified our country bumpkin status once again. I don't think we will ever be great city folk.

Yes--I am aware

I know that I am one of those crazy animal lover people who boggles the mind of those around me. Someday, if I outlive Mark (which, for a number or reasons, I think the odds are in my favor:) ), I might--or probably will turn into one of those old ladies that numbs the loneliness with cats, dogs, and birds. At least I can admit that I am slightly crazy and humanize my pets. Mark, it might be best that I go first....keep it in mind!

This last week was about as dreary as the weather. Last summer was ridiculous and I don't think we had much of one. So far, things are shaping up to be the same way. After two days of rather enjoyable weather, one of which ended in puppy tragedy, it has been miserable! I am so tired of wind, cold, and wet. Adding to the dreariness, Mark has been sick almost every day. Chemo seemed to kick him down harder and faster than usual. On top of that, the doctor suspects he caught some bug the rest of us normal people are immune to. Thus, our little family has been enjoying the dark, dreary, dampness of the bat cave, Roxy included.

As previously stated, Roxy can be tough to reason with. She has felt much better and has longed for days chasing cats, and playing her made up games with herself out in her kennel. I have had to be the bad guy, letting her out only to do her business. I also am the one that shoves pills down her throat, sticks the cone on, and takes her to the vet. Mark, the hero, takes the cone off and shares Cheetos. I can see how future parenting is going to go.

The guilt finally caught up with me and I made a special trip that all moms take when their children need doctoring--CAL Ranch. I picked up a few items needed to craft a wonderful bandage. I won't admit to the amount spent in certain supplies, but I made sure they were top notch and fashionable. After arming myself with various tape and Coflex in a variety of spring colors, I felt confident I could construct the perfect bandage that would allow Roxy some much needed freedom. To spare myself and Roxy embarrassment, I did not take a picture. The first attempt was secure, but did not allow much movement. The second attempt appeared to be flexible yet sturdy. I underestimated Roxy and the getup lasted about 30 minutes. I felt quite defeated, that is until yesterday.

I am a very clever person. It only takes about 2 weeks. My best ideas come after the situation has come and gone. My best comebacks come in the middle of the night, days after the jab. Moving dialogue and amazing lecture moments occur days after the actual lecture. I am very clever, it is my timing that is incredibly off. My latest and greatest idea is no different. After days of taping handcrafted bandages onto Roxy's torso, the lightbulb finally went off. A shirt!! Roxy needs a shirt. It will provide protection against dirt, scratching, and licking. A shirt will provide excellent mobility.  Roxy can't take the shirt off on her own.  And last of all, Roxy will look quite fashionable. I knew I had one or two extra t-shirts and rummaged through my closet to find the perfect one.

Ta-dah! It is a shirt, bandage, nightgown, and ID tag all in one! The cone of shame has been retired. Roxy is very proud to wear my old flag football shirt. For those of you that can't make out the writing:

 

If football is your religion

Prepare to meet your maker

RESTRAINED

'Nough said.