"I Can Do Hard Things"

I have had the blues lately--and it's been frustrating because I know I shouldn't have them. I am SO blessed and have SO many joys in my life, so why get down? I don't know if the "lovely" weather has been the culprit, or perhaps the many things that Mark seems to be up to while my days seem mundane. There have been moments where I have wanted to throw a bit of a pity party for myself, but Paige will have none of it. She is pretty good at bringing a smile to my face, even briefly to remind me of my blessings. This past week, I have tried harder to be of service to others. I have to say--it really did help! I still had some lows, but I also was able to see things clearly and I learned a little bit.

For no good reason, I am an avid "16 and Pregnant" and "Teen Mom" watcher. For the most part, these shows grate the insides of my very soul. I have violent tendencies towards the TV and the people in these stories. I want to seriously shake sense right into them! Most of the time, adoption is hardly mentioned in these episodes, and except for a slim few, it is never the chosen path. The past two weeks, 15 year olds have chosen to parent their children, convincing themselves that they can do it, their boyfriends are amazing, and you don't "give away blood." Last episode, the boyfriend's mother gave a fabulous sermon about not abandoning family--then telling her 15 year old that he needed to come right home after school because he was spending too much time away from home to be with his pregnant girlfriend. When the baby came, teen mom was frustrated that teen dad didn't support them financially, got to stay in high school, and he didn't want to help take care of the baby (umm he is 15, can't drive, can't work, and did I mention he is 15?). She cried and screamed about it not being fair that she had to sacrifice so much and take care of the baby while he lived a normal life. There are seriously so many maddening moments, but what resonated with me was her continual pleas about life not being fair.

Therein lies my lesson. I find it is easy for me to say life isn't fair, sadly, I am blessed and I have probably wound up on the fair side more than the unfair side. This isn't a new lesson, but I guess this week a light shone on it in a new way. Life is hard. It just is. Bad things happen every single day. Crime, disasters, economic instability, failed relationships, health problems, infertility, and the list goes on. As the search begins for a presidential candidate, people are looking for a superhero who is somehow going to make life fair and make it easier for all of us--take away all the hard, uncertain trials we face. That is a whole different type of post, but what I am trying to get at is that maybe we should all just accept the fact that life is hard--and find it as another challenge to the human spirit and rise above it. How many other things in our life do we choose to do voluntarily precisely because it IS hard? No one ever climbs a mountain because it's easy, or run a long distance race because it's a cinch. No one plays sports because they are simple and we all can do them the best. They are fun because they are challenging, they push us! We all watch professional and collegiate sports because we aren't good enough to be there ourselves, that's the point! Exercising, eating right, having amazing skin, hair etc, all those things are hard, take time, and consistency. When we see the model on the cover of the magazine we are in awe of her amazing body--well she does hard things! Every time I see a magazine cover of a beautiful celebrity, I think "Wow, I wish I looked like her," but not really, because I pretty much like to eat frosting out of the container and she eats fish. She has to eat fish. The day she doesn't, some camera will capture her looking bloated, swimming the ocean. Can you imagine the daily pressure they have just to look good? Enormous and sad, consider what a shallow pressure that is. How much time do they waste just to look good? That is their job--what a sad job! And any imperfections they do have are airbrushed away, a luxury many of us don't have.  Really, ANYTHING worth doing is hard. The gospel is hard, cultivating a talent is hard, thinking of others more than ourselves is hard. At what point did we decide it should have all been easy and since it isn't, we are just going to gripe about it being hard? I look at Paige cutting teeth, and guess what..it is hard for her! Even something as natural and as good as cutting teeth is hard, but I bet someday she is glad she has them. Would we really want everything to be easy? Where's the growth?

I guess the moral of this very long post is just for me. I needed to remind myself that all things worth doing and having are only obtained by enduring hard things, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Instead of getting down about it, the sooner I accept it, the sooner I can change my attitude and work towards overcoming them and being a better person. Stop deluding myself into thinking that whatever it is I am looking for will come easily--whether it is my marriage, being a good mom, being healthy, growing my testimony. All these things will be hard, but they will be worth it.

5 Months

I suppose since Paige is almost six months, I better get a five month post in here. Paige is my cute, tiny lil bug.She still sports 0-3 month clothing, especially pants. I have been able to break her into some 3-6 month shirts and jammies, but the pants are waayyy to big, even leggings. Paige will smile and laugh but she is mostly just content. Never super smiley and crazy, but never super upset either. There are exceptions, but overall she is mild and easy going--content to observe. She breaks into a smile whenever she wakes up, sees her daddy, and she loves Roxy. Roxy apparently is the clown of the house. Paige eats rice cereal like a champ at 5 months, started oatmeal a few weeks later. I tried introducing peas and green beans, but she adamently refuses anything green. I can't say I blame her there--I am not known as an excellent vegetable eater either.

Paige shows interest in rolling over and can get on her side, but she can't quite make it all the way over. It is always back to front when she tries. She finally enjoys tummy time, but screams when she is ready to be done. She recently has been able to sit a bit on her own. She now wants mom to sit her upright and keep her there rather than laying on the ground with her toys. It allows mom no time to get things done since she must keep one leg behind Paige to balance her. Paige loves the jogging stroller and recently took down a 5.5 mile run. Afterwards she was exhausted and took a 3 hr nap; that stroller riding is hard work. My perfectly healthy baby has her first snotty nose, courtesy of me. Drats! Hopefully it doesn't get too bad. She is also teething which hasn't been too fun for either of us.

Her special friend Mandi recently showed her a few new ways to deal with her comb over, we will have to take a picture. Paige has an awesome bald spot in back, super long hair on top, and white fluffy down coming in all over. It is quite the style. She likes to read books but has the attention span of a 5 month old.

Yes--she is sad, but I love the lip she sticks out when she gets upset.

First time sitting on her own.

First time on the horse. She is a natural and will be a better cowgirl than I ever could be.