An Exciting Day!

Aside from being a summer Friday, today is even more exciting than usual. My little brother gets home from Poland late tonight and I seriously can't wait! If he misses a flight connection, I might love him less--just kidding, but I will be dissapointed. Also, tonight is the Relay for Life. We didn't think we would be able to participate, but because BJ's flight comes in so late, Mark is hoping to make it into the survivor lap at 6:00. I am looking forward to being a part of things tonight. I hope it isn't too late to find a way to be involved.

Now, for the most exciting part (insert drum roll) We are officially approved for adoption!!! I know the journey is ongoing, and is sure to be challenging, but can I just say that being approved seems like a giant, liberating leap? I basically finished all of our paperwork and questionaires in January, before life flipped us out of the boat. It was crazy getting on the internet this morning and seeing all the work we had done 5 months ago. I had to fight every urge to change everything. It is scary writing something knowing what a huge difference it could possibly make, or not make for that matter. Writing our birth parent letter was so difficult. I felt it was so genuine and exactly how Mark and I felt. With that being said, when I read it now, I worry about how it comes off to others, since they don't know my mind as well as I do. Since I want it to remain active, (if I change it, it deactivates) I am refusing to make changes so it can remain available, for at least a few days before I can't take it anymore. I saw one or two silly errors that will probably add to some sleepless nights. Oh grammar and proof reading--when will the day come that things are just perfect the first time?!?!

I, for the most part, am a selfish person. This blog has been so great and uplifiting for Mark and I. We have loved sharing our story because of the outpouring of love and support we receive from all of you. It is a selfish vehicle. Do any of you feel used yet? We have come to lean on all of you so much and appreciate words of kindness, support, and love. If you didn't feel used before, maybe you will now. Please help spread the word that Mark and I are looking to start our family through adoption. Share it far and wide, yell it off of mountains. Spread it like wild fire! If anyone knows anyone, who knows anyone, who might be considering an adoption plan, tell them about Mark and I. We have been attending adoption classes, and each week we are taught the importance of networking and being proactive. This is my first feeble, possibly cheating, effort at it. I have posted our adoption profile number above our ticker, and in our information. For the record, our profile can be seen at itsaboutlove.org. Our profile number is 24368592. I should see if I can make the number attention grabbing like all those infomercials,  1-800-Jenny or something. 2gently2 is the best I could come up with...not so much...Regardless,  if anyone is interested, refer them to the blog or itsaboutlove.org.

Sorry for the advertising, but honestly, we appreciate it! We are so excited to move ahead. Hopefully, in the next few days  I will have some good pictures to post of BJ, the Relay for Life, and the new toy Mark and I have been riding all week. It was about a year ago that my mare got hit by a car,  and I finally think I found a legitimate bandaid. We love our new gelding! Pictures to come:)

Crossing the Finish

Why is it that life and running share so many similarities and lessons? Finishing is always sweet, so why the tears and mixed emotions every time I finish a race?  I don't believe we finished this race this majestically. We are actually not pictured in this photo finish, we are just out of view behind those white dashes. Mark and I have been crawling from behind for the last two months. To be honest, this trip has flown by. It seems like only yesterday we were dumped on our heads, but we knew this day would come. It went fast, but it wasn't always easy. There were many lessons and uplifting moments, followed by despair and frustration. I had a lot of shameful moments and shameful thoughts, times where it felt like life was unfairly picking on us. I played the blame game on occasion and wanted to quit a time or two. A wise mother told me on one of these bitter days, that I needed to recognize A positive, just one; look at ways help was being sent from above. I have come to the conclusion that finishing the journey was made possible only by flying on the wings of others, angels among us that carried Mark and I when we needed it the most. We have greatly appreciated the love, thoughts, prayers, well wishes, dinners, surprises, phone calls, notes, donations, listening ears, friends, and countless other ways we have been blessed by service. Honestly, we have leaned so heavily on others, in a way, I am sad to see it end. I hope we can remember how to stand on our own.

This picture was taken by Mark, from his hospital bed, the day he was diagnosed. I hope we never forget the feelings we had that day. It was a day when nothing mattered but each other, our families, our friends, and our faith. Not that I want many similar experiences, I will say that this was a humbling experience and maybe something we needed to re-evaluate our priorities and teach us to rely on Heavenly Father and those around us. It was this day, that I realized I loved and cherished Mark more than I thought capable, and I was grateful that if I had to walk through a storm, it was with him.

The first dose of chemo

The empty bag of his final chemo drug, for the last time:

Getting meds before his last lumbar puncture:

It was a little bitter sweet to walk into the clinic today knowing we wouldn't be as close with our special friends. Cancer nurses are incredibly special people and will hold a piece of our hearts forever. We have met and built bonds with so many others; it has been an incredible blessing. There is an immediate connection when you know someone else is currently waging a war of their own. The nurses pulled out all the stops today and definitely brought tears to my eyes as they presented Mark with a completion certificate and sang a song of celebration. Seriously, they sang! They claimed they didn't know how to dance. Mark and I should have pressed and held out for the dance. I think we could have urged it out of them in time. When we come back, we will expect some actions or something Linda:) Oh, and we love you!

This is Linda presenting the certificate of completion:

We love everyone at Teton Oncology. Everyone from the front desk, to the nurses, to the doctors, to the other patients. I don't want to wish anyone to have to go there, but it is an upside if you find yourself in a similar predicament. Maybe we should convince them to provide a different service like a good car wash. Everyone likes a good, reliable car wash now and then.

Even though chemotherapy is done, Mark has a good cooling down period before we are officially done. In a few weeks, he will start radiation which will continue for thirty days. We will think of this as a good cool down and stretch. There will be a few side affects, but it should be "easy" compared to what he has already gone through. He does have a few whiskers on the top of his head. Hopefully these will multiply and his eyelashes will come back soon. After radiation, he will have his final PET scan to ensure everything looks as good as they did halfway through treatment. Then, the port will come out and he will be continually monitored and having CT scans for a few months. Over time, these will fade out and we will go in less and less. Here's to hoping we have beaten good once and for all. I don't know how optimistic I would be about a round 2.

In other news, I decided to ugly up my dog. Mark hates the excessive hair and wished that Roxy would follow the example of other friends who have shown support by shaving their heads. So, today Roxy went in for a shave down. At least she now matches the patch of missing hair she was supporting after the attack. She once had a beautiful, flowing coat. She now looks like this:

She is still cute in the eyes of her mother. And she has a cute handkerchief. She does seem to be sulking about being bald though. However, I think she will find this to be much cooler. Her long coat tended to collect the assortment of goods when we took her horseback riding and exploring. Mark suggested we tell her she is a good dog more often and give her more food and we will shortly be forgiven. I am sure he is right.

We are still waiting to for our adoption home study to be completed. If anyone wants to urge LDSFS along, feel free. The, "It will be done next week" has been going on for about 5 now. Another lesson on patience I suppose. I guess it is preparing us for the amount of waiting we will do once we are actually approved. I start a whole bunch of classes Monday, outside, so pray for warm weather. It was supposed to be summer by second block so I wouldn't freeze all day every day. Thank you all again for your love and support. We send it right back! I will try to post a little more regularly. I take a hiatus if I can't say anything nice. I would rather not display my crappy attitude. We hope the ride is only up from here!

This final picture is of our front door. Wonderful friends braved the wind to hang balloons and these encouraging stars. Thanks guys! Hopefully they stay on for awhile. They are too cute and bring a smile:)