Crossing the Finish

Why is it that life and running share so many similarities and lessons? Finishing is always sweet, so why the tears and mixed emotions every time I finish a race?  I don't believe we finished this race this majestically. We are actually not pictured in this photo finish, we are just out of view behind those white dashes. Mark and I have been crawling from behind for the last two months. To be honest, this trip has flown by. It seems like only yesterday we were dumped on our heads, but we knew this day would come. It went fast, but it wasn't always easy. There were many lessons and uplifting moments, followed by despair and frustration. I had a lot of shameful moments and shameful thoughts, times where it felt like life was unfairly picking on us. I played the blame game on occasion and wanted to quit a time or two. A wise mother told me on one of these bitter days, that I needed to recognize A positive, just one; look at ways help was being sent from above. I have come to the conclusion that finishing the journey was made possible only by flying on the wings of others, angels among us that carried Mark and I when we needed it the most. We have greatly appreciated the love, thoughts, prayers, well wishes, dinners, surprises, phone calls, notes, donations, listening ears, friends, and countless other ways we have been blessed by service. Honestly, we have leaned so heavily on others, in a way, I am sad to see it end. I hope we can remember how to stand on our own.

This picture was taken by Mark, from his hospital bed, the day he was diagnosed. I hope we never forget the feelings we had that day. It was a day when nothing mattered but each other, our families, our friends, and our faith. Not that I want many similar experiences, I will say that this was a humbling experience and maybe something we needed to re-evaluate our priorities and teach us to rely on Heavenly Father and those around us. It was this day, that I realized I loved and cherished Mark more than I thought capable, and I was grateful that if I had to walk through a storm, it was with him.

The first dose of chemo

The empty bag of his final chemo drug, for the last time:

Getting meds before his last lumbar puncture:

It was a little bitter sweet to walk into the clinic today knowing we wouldn't be as close with our special friends. Cancer nurses are incredibly special people and will hold a piece of our hearts forever. We have met and built bonds with so many others; it has been an incredible blessing. There is an immediate connection when you know someone else is currently waging a war of their own. The nurses pulled out all the stops today and definitely brought tears to my eyes as they presented Mark with a completion certificate and sang a song of celebration. Seriously, they sang! They claimed they didn't know how to dance. Mark and I should have pressed and held out for the dance. I think we could have urged it out of them in time. When we come back, we will expect some actions or something Linda:) Oh, and we love you!

This is Linda presenting the certificate of completion:

We love everyone at Teton Oncology. Everyone from the front desk, to the nurses, to the doctors, to the other patients. I don't want to wish anyone to have to go there, but it is an upside if you find yourself in a similar predicament. Maybe we should convince them to provide a different service like a good car wash. Everyone likes a good, reliable car wash now and then.

Even though chemotherapy is done, Mark has a good cooling down period before we are officially done. In a few weeks, he will start radiation which will continue for thirty days. We will think of this as a good cool down and stretch. There will be a few side affects, but it should be "easy" compared to what he has already gone through. He does have a few whiskers on the top of his head. Hopefully these will multiply and his eyelashes will come back soon. After radiation, he will have his final PET scan to ensure everything looks as good as they did halfway through treatment. Then, the port will come out and he will be continually monitored and having CT scans for a few months. Over time, these will fade out and we will go in less and less. Here's to hoping we have beaten good once and for all. I don't know how optimistic I would be about a round 2.

In other news, I decided to ugly up my dog. Mark hates the excessive hair and wished that Roxy would follow the example of other friends who have shown support by shaving their heads. So, today Roxy went in for a shave down. At least she now matches the patch of missing hair she was supporting after the attack. She once had a beautiful, flowing coat. She now looks like this:

She is still cute in the eyes of her mother. And she has a cute handkerchief. She does seem to be sulking about being bald though. However, I think she will find this to be much cooler. Her long coat tended to collect the assortment of goods when we took her horseback riding and exploring. Mark suggested we tell her she is a good dog more often and give her more food and we will shortly be forgiven. I am sure he is right.

We are still waiting to for our adoption home study to be completed. If anyone wants to urge LDSFS along, feel free. The, "It will be done next week" has been going on for about 5 now. Another lesson on patience I suppose. I guess it is preparing us for the amount of waiting we will do once we are actually approved. I start a whole bunch of classes Monday, outside, so pray for warm weather. It was supposed to be summer by second block so I wouldn't freeze all day every day. Thank you all again for your love and support. We send it right back! I will try to post a little more regularly. I take a hiatus if I can't say anything nice. I would rather not display my crappy attitude. We hope the ride is only up from here!

This final picture is of our front door. Wonderful friends braved the wind to hang balloons and these encouraging stars. Thanks guys! Hopefully they stay on for awhile. They are too cute and bring a smile:)