Still Mourning Warmer Weather

Life feels pretty slow lately, and I am trying to decide whether I like that or not. The last few days of warmer weather have been a huge blessing. Nothing like some sunshine to lift the spirits. Since coming home, we have had terrible weather--which is to be expected, but it was magnified after leaving paradise. The wind has been relentless, and Paige and I have felt very cooped up. Then to make things even more fabulous, Paige came down with the flu last week and life was awesome. I love a routine, but it lends itself to monotony, and then I look back at my days with disdain because life seems to be stuck. I suppose it is a love/hate relationship.  I love summer so much and wish we had more nice days. They feel invaluable! We have been out enjoying our backyard setting, the animals, and each other the last few days and it really has made all the difference.

Someone from our trip set up a community photo board, which has been awesome since Mark and I are terrible picture takers. I didn't want to take my phone on a lot of these excursions, so I was glad to see someone documented them for us. These next few were taken at a Mayan village. The Mayan descendants live there and have set up a few tourist type activities to make some money I guess. I didn't fully understand it. The government pays them to allow visitors into their village and homes. It is environmentally protected, and we couldn't even take sunscreen in that wasn't biodegradable.

This rock was about as high as a high dive, so not terrible scary, but it was so fun. The water was from an underground river and was crystal clear. It was so hot outside, and the water felt amazing.

An actual home. These people live a very primitive lifestyle. They grow their own food and raise their own animals. They have an average lifespan of 100 years due to their low stress, healthy eating habits. The village was so beautiful. I originally thought it was some sort of museum, like a Polynesian Cultural center type thing, but people actually live here like an Indian reservation, albeit quite different than any reservation I have ever seen. Our guide knocked on the door and our group of 40 invaded some poor guy's personal space. He was sleeping in his hammock before we all barged into his one room house.

This is literally all that was inside. To the right was 5 hammocks. They had three grocery sacks of food hung from the ceiling to keep animals out of it. It was crazy to see that people are able to live with so little, and honestly, it sounds like they are healthier and happier for it. With that being said, I don't know if I am ready to give up all my luxuries to join them.

The underwater river we explored. It was a fairly short tour, which was fine by me since the water was freezing. It was pretty eery to see some of the extremely deep crevices that extend to who knows where. Gave me a little bit of the heebie jeebies. Apparently all scuba diving is outlawed to prevent people from being trapped indefinitely. Can you imagine a worse way to go?!

This was the fanciest dinner of the whole trip, and my stomach was so not interested in the fancy food. I was sad things weren't more settled so I could attempt to enjoy my 200 dollar dinner.

Zip-lining at the Mayan Village. Too lazy to put these pictures in better order.

Mayan ruins at Tulum. It was SO hot. The top of my feet were sun-burnt, and it felt like we were walking on the sun. It was like 9 in the morning, and the sun was strong.  I can't remember feeling sushine so intense....ever. I'm not complaining, in awe really that places like that exist. A very fascinating place and I was glad we got to see it.

The beautiful beach at the base of the ruins, tempting the sweaty tourists.

And then we came home to the land of winter coats.

Boots the cat would rather be a dog. This cat is so annoying, but cracks me up at the same time. It follows us on every walk we go on. It loves attention at all times, and quite honestly, wants to cuddle more than any of us would like to. Boots is so darn pushy and will find any open lap. I have a hard time being mean to animals, so I usually give in and give it a pet or two before I want my personal space back. Paige feels the same way I do, but will tolerate the cat on her terms. Boots is pretty kind which makes her stay here tolerable. Fortunately she has become a little braver with the warmer temperatures, and has left the back porch to hunt for field mice, her real purpose on the farm.

The next picture deserves a little preface. In case you haven't been around me for at least ten seconds, you must know I am a worrier. I like to worry about any and all things. I sometimes enjoy blowing things out of proportion and losing sleep over them. I even like to ruin completely wonderful and exciting events by worrying. Sigh. Why do I do this? And now, to introduce Dee.

We have been wanting to get another horse for awhile for a few reasons. First, I wasn't about to go on family horse rides on one horse. Three is a crowd! Second, I love my handsome Scout dearly, but he is only 4. He has had months of training, but at the end of the day he is colt, and I haven't been riding in years---since massive horse death and the arrival of Paige. I need to regain some confidence for sure. The older I get, the more fearful I am and the less confident I feel. Paige makes that worse. I don't want her to get hurt, and I can't get hurt and take care of her. Regardless, I love horses, and I want to get over those fears and enjoy them. Riding a colt probably isn't the best way to overcome those things, so we were on the lookout for an older, broke, trust-worthy ride. Scout's trainer called us Friday and said he had come across a great mare. Mark hates paints and hates mares equally as much, so I was surprised he was interested at all, but we love our trainer and trust his judgement. We rode her Saturday morning and I really enjoyed her. She was so sweet, had an unbelievable trot, and was pretty responsive after basically sitting for a year. Dee has been ridden 3 times in the last year or two, and we were pretty impressed with her demeanor. Mark and I usually think about these big type of purchases far too long, and with other people wanting to come and ride Dee, we felt pressured and quickly agreed to take her home. I was SO excited....until we brought her to our house. She seemed like an entirely different horse to me. Blah.  I am unsure at this point as to what to think. I feel like she has potential, but I am not in a place where I can help her reach that. I feel like I want our trainer to put some time on her and iron out some issues, but I am anxious to have something to ride. I feel conflicted. For what we paid, I wish she was in a better place, but I also realize if she was there, she probably would have been even more expensive. It is also very possible I have jumped to some conclusions and the poor thing has gone through quite a bit of change and needs some time to get used to me and her new surroundings. I am a rough judge, I just want her to be perfect, that's all! I want Scout to be 13, broke and seasoned. I guess the jury is still out on Dee and if she can be that seasoned horse for me to gain some confidence and for Paige to learn on. It is a hard balance to find a horse that has enough life to be fun, energetic, and enjoyable, yet broke calm, gentle, and level headed. I feel like I am seeking a perfect balance that might not exist.  And there you have it, I have completely ruined a perfectly exciting event. Why can't I just be excited to have a beautiful new horse?

Paige and Grandma enjoying some nice weather. How grateful we are to have some fun days before Grandma leaves us. I am not ready for that!

Paige has more confidence than I do! The girl has no fear and LOVES to ride horses. She asks daily to ride and hates to get off. I love that she is fearless, and I feel sad for the day when she realizes there is plenty to fear(in all things) because it is inevitable. Fortunately, she is going to have a way stronger foundation than I did getting such an early start. Lucky lady that is for sure. Her dad is pretty great to come home after a long day and take her out.

 Pictures like these make me feel like super mom. I am not really great at the whole crafting thing. I am trying to be better and not care about the mess that crafting always results in. Extreme boredom has won out recently and desperation has cast all inhibitions aside. I just can't look as she mixes all the colors together to make a lovely shade of brown in every pod. I have to remind myself all things are washable, and paints come cheap. Sad that I have to talk through my perfectionism so my two year old can enjoy herself. The good news is I can, and Paige really loves to paint. It is always good to find another indoor activity to help pass the 335 days of crappy weather.

Last but not least, how grown up is she?! My little baby is just no longer a baby. She is a full blown, sassy toddler on the brink of potty training. I took a few random shots to send her birth mom and I was floored at how big Paige seemed. So bittersweet!

A few funny things she has said lately:

After a long potty session on her knew potty chair that ended in no success, Paige walked in on me and clapped and cheered as I did find success. I suppose she was listening to me after all. She is very good at telling me she has pooped  after I can smell her coming two rooms away. When I ask her where she should go, she always says "in the potty."

I picked her up from Kid's World at the gym the other day. I walked in and called for her. Paige ran out from the slide and yelled, "Do you hear that? It's my mom!" She asks me if I hear stuff multiple times a day.

After giving Mark "knucks" during the Sacrament, she calmly exclaimed "explode" as she retracted her open palm.

Post Vacation Syndrome

My house is a mess. There is a mile long list of things to catch up on, laundry to do, floors to mop, toilets to clean, and alas my will power died on vacation. It has been so hard coming back home and getting back into the swing of things. Mark and I knew we were headed to Mexico on an all-expense paid trip of spoils last September, and I have been anxiously awaiting its arrival. I worked out, I shopped, I stressed about what to wear to fancy dinners and cocktail hours, knowing I would stick out for not drinking and hoping to at least look like I belonged there somehow. And just like that.....it was all over in the blink of an eye. Even though I missed Paige terribly, this was the best vacation I had ever been on, EVER! It was such a blast. I met some amazing people, made new friends, and enjoyed a few days of heavenly bliss without a stress in the world. When someone else pays for your trip, it is just a million times more enjoyable. Mark golfed, I snorkeled, we canoed, zip-lined, para sailed, swam, explored ruins and underwater caves, ate, slept, pampered at the spa, walked in flour-like sand, and soaked up some rays. Fabulous. It was just fabulous. Mark has more pictures on his phone I have yet to transfer, so I hope to post those later on.

View from our hammock on our own private balcony

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3---getting the hint? I literally laid on these huge comfy beds on the beach for hours with my new gal pal Kasey. We sat there for hours while people brought  food and drink, fluffed my pillow, and then cleaned everything up. Mark would come home from the golfing and ask what I did. I responded with, "A whole lot of nothing." It was amazing.

Perfection

There was some sort of activity once a day, and since our hubby's wanted to golf most of the time, Kasey and I enjoyed jet skiing and snorkeling together. We had never jet skied before, and I am sure we were pretty awesome out there. I wish we would have seen more on the snorkel trip, but we did see a huge barracuda, some fish, and an octopus which I am still wondering if I actually managed to see. It was pretty camouflaged and even getting right up next to it I merely nodded my head to our guide that  I did in fact see it. 

When we got tired of beach side service, we would head over to the outside restaurant for some yummy fixings. My favorite food down there was at the resort. Breakfast was AMAZING. I don't even like breakfast, but it certainly hit the spot each day. We also loved the guacamole and shrimp tacos. Delicious.

Headed out for our first jet ski ride.

Waiting to para sail. We did this our last beach day, and I think Kasey grabbed some good action shots, I was too afraid to take my phone, and after taking the jet ski ride of death out to the boat, I was glad I left it on the beach. Tide was rolling in and we headed pretty far out to get to the boat. There were some pretty big swells that our little jet ski flew over. Being slightly afraid of the ocean, I feared for my life and got pretty up close and personal with our jet ski driver. Mark almost bounced off the back multiple times. I felt fortunate to be in the middle. It was way scarier than the actual para sailing portion of the trip. I needed to sign the waiver way before I got on the boat!

One of 5 fountains at the spa

The spa, where I spent 3 glorious hours. My contacts pretty much dried up on my eye balls and by the time I was done and taken out of my dark, music filled room into the bright sunshine, I hardly remembered my name. I could barely open my eyes, couldn't understand what my Spanish masseuse was saying, and had no idea what he handed me to drink. I am pretty sure he thought I was "special"  at that point as my face contorted to keep my lenses from falling out.

Entrance to our hotel. The grounds were unbelievable. It was set in a pretty dense jungle and the grounds were impeccable. The resort only has 60 total rooms and they were set apart from each other. It felt so quaint, quiet, and private. Each night they would light the paths connecting the rooms, pools and common areas with candles. I felt like a rich person for the week. It was other worldly for sure. Thanks Navex for the awesome trip and thanks Mark for working so hard and earning it. I am trying not to get excited about next year, but the Amalfi coast sounds amazing. C'mon Mark! You can do it!!!

The only downfall was leaving this little bug. She did great and split time at both grandparents'. I couldn't believe how much more she talked when I got home. She managed to learn sentences in the time I was gone. We were off the grid, and only had the capabilities to Facetime and only managed to hook up twice while we were gone. It felt strange to feel so disconnected! Paige gave me the world's greatest hug when I got home, which made up for the 50 degree temperature drop, at least temporarily:)

Paige was super excited about "Hop" this year. She calls all bunnies "Hop" and after meeting the Easter Bunny at the grocery store, she was elated he was going to come to her house. She only left the grocery store after reassuring her he would come visit that night. When Mark woke her up for the church the next morning and asked her who came, she emphatically declared "Hop!!" I was surprised she connected it all and remembered it. She wasn't as excited about picture taking, and has a mouth full of treats in this shot, but I had to document her adorable Easter outfit.

Paige loved finding candy filled eggs. It's fun to see her grow up and be able to participate in things. Maybe next year we will try the whole egg dye thing, and be as excited about Jesus as we are about "Hop."

Paige loves to be outside and loves to go for walks. This is basically in our backyard and these two gals couldn't be any happier about it. I have concluded that warm weather is a special gift for moms! I am looking forward to a summer of outdoor adventures.

Paige is growing up so fast and makes us laugh everyday. Here are a few things she has said lately:

While on a walk, "Hey, do you hear that? Listen......it's a plane!" Very serious

After our trip and spending one night in my company, she took a break from breakfast to say, "Hey, you know what? We should go to Mammas (grandma's)" Ya I know, Grandma is way cooler.

While at Mamma and Boppa's....She told Boppa to "follow me" and proceeded to put him in "time out, where he had to "stay and be nice"

Paige takes good care of her baby and had changed its diaper, read it a story, and put it to bed. In the morning while eating breakfast at Boppa's, she stood up with a start and said, "Oh no! My baby is still sleeping!"

We took Paige with us to watch Scout be shod and then  to a horse sale. Paige was pretty upset both times that she couldn't ride. When I asked her if she had fun at the horse sale, she said "no, it was boring, I wanna ride"

In the car seeing a sign that had blown down, Paige with disgust said, "Oh man!"

Was upset about needing to say goodbye to Mamma and Boppa and going to bed. Mamma told her it was time for them to go home because Boppa needed to go to bed. Paige marched upstairs to retrieve Boppa and told him, "you need to go to bed Boppa"

Paige is the most animated little thing and cracks me up with her facial expressions and attitude. She is growing up too fast.

In other news, we have completed our home study and we are now waiting for it to be submitted to the state for approval. It should be about two weeks. Now it really is a waiting game, which honestly is the hardest part. I need to start getting our profile and scrapbook stuff done, but once that is done, I feel like it is largely out of our hands and will be relinquishing our control a bit and putting faith in charge. I am still trying to decide how active I want to be in marketing and networking ourselves. That part of the adoption process makes me squirm. So many mixed emotions on that one! I know it really is the only way to get the word out and advertising is a big deal, but it is so against my personality. Not to mention it scares me a bit in multiple ways. Sigh. We shall see I guess.