Moving Fast, and Trying to Keep Up!

 

August is knocking on the door and I can't believe fall is around the corner. I just don't feel ready to give up my summer yet. I'm already anxious about all the cold months ahead. I'm hoping to cram as much as possible into the next month or so before that first morning you get up and can smell autumn in the air. We continue to be on the go and it's great. Keeping busy is the key to my sanity. I've gotten used to the cast, and it doesn't slow me down much anymore. It comes off on Monday, and though I am looking forward to washing my hair with two hands, I am a little nervous. I'm sure it will be awhile before it feels normal again. At least with the cast on I expect it to be annoying. Paige and I will be doing swimming lessons later that same day, and I look forward to being a participant rather than a spectator for the first time in weeks!

 

After downloading all the pictures from my phone, I came across a few oldies but goodies.

 

 

After breaking my expensive, prescription glasses, Paige found the cheap shades. I felt it was a fair compromise, and she was just so happy.

 

 

My child doesn't eat. She won't try new things, has about 5 things she will eat consistently, (none of which are exceptionally healthy) and she spits things out exclaiming they are gross. Enter the smoothie, mom's best weapon. I've been sneaking spinach in these bad boys and Paige still downs the glass. I feel so triumphant! I did learn the hard way that no bib protects against the deep, dark shade of berry. Certain flavors are now enjoyed diaper only!

 

Lest you think Paige goes naked all day, everyday, getting her in and out of her wet swimsuit in the cast is one thing that continues to be annoying. The pool was losing its pizzazz so I had to get a little creative and added some bubbles. They seemed to keep her entertained for at least 10 more minutes. I also felt by dousing the pool, the toys, and the kid in soapy bubbles, the poop from the previous post was bound to take a hit.

 

 

We've been blessed with some pretty cool skies lately. I am not sure it is the time of year, the fires, the super moon, or all of the above. They have provided some icing on the perfect summer night scene!

 

Moon rise out back

 

 

Sunset out front

 

I have been playing soccer again, and while I love being involved, it scares me to death! I am nervous the entire time, not to mention winded. After the break, I only missed a week of the gym before I got back to working out consistently. Of course I am stuck doing only cardio for the most part, but I felt like I was doing enough not to lose all my fitness. For some reason, everything is harder. What used to be a simple workout kills me at the moment. The first game back I thought I might die. It doesn't help that I am required to wrap and pad the cast so that it isn't considered "a weapon." I use Mark's old ACL wrap and by the time I get what covers his entire leg  around my forearm, it is HUGE. I then get to play an entire game, in the heat, with a 5lb blanketed club. Awesome.

 

 

Mark's nephew is headed out on a mission today, and last weekend was his farewell so we traveled over to Boise for some fun and family time. It was great! First, I love Boise. I think it is perfect. So much to do, quite a bit warmer, and home to some of my favorite people. We hit up the water park and I got to watch and eat Dippin Dot's while the rest of clan enjoyed the slides and pools in the triple digit heat. I was fairly jealous. It was nice to have an excuse not to hit up the scary stuff that as a kid I wouldn't have missed for the world. The older I get, the less brave I am. However, I feel the pressure not to be a wuss and to be the fun, young, daredevil gal I used to be. It creates all sorts of internal conflict. One positive about being the full time spectator is all the documentation. We never used to have any pictures, but right now that's all I'm good for!

 



 

Paige started out rough. She hates the splash park type stuff where kids run  around like crazy, fountains go off randomly, and buckets of water drop from the sky. Scares her to death. Mark saved the day by taking her on the designated kid slides---which she loved!

 

Didn't take her long to enjoy lounging on the tubes either. Her favorite is the lazy river.

 

After deciding the little kid slides weren't fast enough, Mark took her on this full sized, pitch black, tube slide. Paige loved it and went on it multiple times, yet still wouldn't walk through the splash pad. Go figure.

 

 

I can't believe Brennan is old enough to go on a mission. He was not even ten when Mark and I got married. He is quite a bit older than the rest of the cousins, and since he adores Mark, he spent a lot of time tagging along with us--especially when we didn't have any kids. Now that we do, he is the best cousin and is SO sweet to Paige. He is going to make some girl very lucky someday! In the meantime, he will be a fabulous missionary. I will miss him at all the family things. Never bad to have someone constantly entertaining Paige. He took Paige on quite a few dirt bike rides and let her jump into the pool to him about 4 dozen times.

 

In between all these events, we have been trying to get in as much horse riding as possible. I have been leery to talk much about Tucker after the whole Dee fiasco. In the end,  Dee the paint mare just was not working out. We had to send her back and the search was on for another horse. We found Tucker who is a reining show horse. He is gorgeous, so very broke, and so far has been a perfect fit for our family. He is in no way perfect and has had some issues we have had to work on, but he is so smart and learns so fast. He wants to listen and wants to be good. I have grown more confident with each ride and I am really starting to love this guy. I really didn't want things to end up like the did with Dee, so I was hesitant to view him as an official member of the family until a month or so went by and we could see if he would work out for us. So far so good. When it comes to safety and a good family horse, I am not willing to take any chances.

 

He is just so pretty, even while getting shoes.

 

FHE last Monday night at the Sand Dunes. I love riding on the sand. It works the horses like crazy and I feel a million times more confident riding out there. This was probably one of my favorite rides of the year!

 

 

We finally made some progress with LDS Family Services and we now have 2 home studies and an official profile on their site. I have yet to see much traffic on our profile, which leads me to believe that if we are lucky enough to adopt again, it will be because someone knows someone. I know I sound like a broken record, but please, please, PLEASE spread the word we are trying to adopt! Social media is a crazy powerful tool, so share away on Facebook, Twitter, whatever. We definitely need the help of our friends and family to get our profile out there for people to see. 

A Fun Weekend

I can't get enough of summer. I love it! I love being busy, spending time with family, and enjoying our favorite hobbies. Friday was a beautiful night. We went for a ride, and we finally have a horse that Paige can ride solo--well at least in the arena. I wish I had her confidence! She will be a better rider than I could ever dream of being, mostly because she has started young. She loves it and does so well. She loves to ride fast with Dad, and then loves to mosey slow by herself. We rode Saturday night as well, but down in the river bottoms. The bugs were bad, and it was my first time riding with the cast. Not easy, I was nervous, and my horse knew I was nervous. It wasn't my favorite ride. I need to gain that confidence back! I think I need this butt of mine to get saddle sore. I need more miles! Still getting used to the new horse, and it is a work in progress. Tucker is such a good boy, I just need to trust him more so he in turn trusts me.

On Saturday we went to a horse sale to window shop I guess. Our friends went and it was fun to watch them bid, and win on a beautiful new horse. Afterwards we hit up the Alpine Slide. Since I am still one handed, I let Mark and Paige enjoy this one on their own while I snapped pictures. Paige, true to  herself, had no fear. She told Mark on the chairlift she was flying.

Mark took the slow track and tried to take it easy. Paige said "faster" and "weeeeeee" the entire time. When they first pulled up, I asked Paige how it was. She said, "I wanna go again!" I guess that means it was good!

Adjusting Attitude

 

I recognize my last few posts have had the above tone to them. I wish I could say my attitude is always in check and I'm a sunshine-y type person at all times, but I am not. As much as I wish I could honestly be that way, I also truly believe in being honest. My blog is a real representation of our lives, and that includes some bad days and some less than proud moments. However, I also believe I need to improve---and can. I would love to be more patient, happier, and more optimistic overall. These are things I want to and need to work on. It hasn't been an easy month, and no nothing was seriously unbearable, I know it was much more dramatic due to my own making, and yes I feel pretty foolish knowing people have actual problems that seriously trump mine. We have had our fair share of some substantial life trials, and one lesson I learned from them is, they haven't exempted us from the smaller ones. Nothing we experienced in the last few weeks comes close to what we experienced a few years ago, but we still struggled and had to figure out how to deal with the small ones, that at the time, felt pretty big! In the last conference, Elder Holland gave such a wonderful talk about asserting the faith you do have first, rather than leading with your doubt. I look forward to all of his talks. He is a beautiful teacher and his lessons stick with me for a long time. He manages to discuss something I really need to work on. This last talk was no exception. I need to tackle situations with my best foot forward, even if at the time, there isn't much "best." Attitude, all about adjusting my attitude and outlook.

 

Paige has embraced being two, and while it is amazing to see how much she knows, watch her personality flourish, and laugh at what she says, it isn't without its challenges. I love that one moment she can sing songs with me and give me loves, and then throw an absolute fit about 5 seconds later. She can be a tough cookie. She has a strong willed little personality and quite the rebellious little spirit. These qualities seem to be directly at odds with how sensitive, loving, and happy she is. It's quite the dichotomy. Paige gave me the above death look after I woke her up from a nap. She was sleeping pretty late, and I didn't want to mess with bedtime. She was less than pleased with me and wasn't afraid to let me know it! She was pretty grumpy the entire day, even at the park. I was so tired by the end of the day and was looking forward to bedtime. Usually Mark rocks her at night, but she insisted on me doing it. Since we had been at odds most of the day, I was a little surprised by this and while I hate to admit it, I was looking forward to Mark doing it so I could have a few minutes alone. Paige wasn't having it, so I settled in for some stories, songs, and rocking. (We have the same routine before naps, so it isn't like I feel jilted nightly.)  Paige immediately snuggled up, gave me a kiss on the cheek, and stroked my face. She sang all the songs with me and we spent some special moments together. Moments I was willing to forfeit earlier, but moments I will now cherish forever. I love her and I am so grateful for her, and though I know I am bound to lose my cool with her again in the future, I hope I can learn to be more patient and understanding, taking the time to teach her and help her through her frustrations as well as my own. She has no desire to potty train despite my best efforts. I would love to force her into it, and have tried only to fail on an epic level. I think it's time to put it on the back burner and let her decide when she wants to do it.

 





Paige loves, loves, loves to swing. If you take her, you better be prepared for the long haul. She also has no fear. The higher, the faster, the better. Scares me to death! Life slowed down this weekend and we spent some good old fashioned downtime as a family. Interesting how much this buoyed my spirits. Happiness is sometimes so simple. Sunday we spent time at our friends, watching the kids play together. It was heavenly. Nothing big, just good food and good company. Rejuvenating!

This week for Family Home Evening, Mark and I pulled out all the stops. I was impressed with ourselves really. We had a song, a lesson complete with flannel board, and went out for a treat. While we usually have some sort of FHE, we aren't usually this organized. It was great. Paige really enjoyed putting the pictures up while I read the story about Jesus teaching at the temple. Afterwards, we jumped in the car, got ice cream, and ate it on the temple grounds. It was a gorgeous night. I haven't been to the temple in an embarrassing long time. It was so nice just being near it. Paige had such a great time, and loved talking to Mark about the angel on top. She said it was "Jesus' House" and we felt pretty successful for the night. It was one of those moments that you realized life is as good as you make, you are in charge of your happiness, and time is too short to waste.

It was a night of resolution. Goals were set, attitudes were adjusted, and the outlook is bright.



Crawling Along

It's been two weeks, but it feels like a lifetime. Each day seems to bring some sort of tragedy. I feel like Paige can sense the weak and smell blood in the water and is half child, half monster. I maybe a little less patient than usual, which means I am on the brink of madness at any given moment, but I seriously thought to myself the other day that her and I are on the same maturity level at the moment. It's embarrassing. I  have caught myself yelling at her not to yell. I think I've been the worst mom ever! Mark has been gone almost every day since the club came into my life, and it stinks. I went to the doctor yesterday for my first check up and left Paige with a friend. I sat in the waiting room and it felt like I was on vacation. I am to the point where I can do just about anything with minor discomfort, but everything takes me FOREVER. I have been close to getting poop on the cast, but so far so good. During church on Sunday I caught a whiff of a disturbing smell and inspected the casted hand a bit closer. Seriously yucky and all the skin on my palm was yellow, flaking, and disgusting. The callouses I used to have were falling off and the whole thing just reeked. I have a new appreciation for mothers who have casted children. I am pretty careful and try to keep things clean and orderly, and it is still just gross.

Like I said, Paige senses the weak and takes advantage of it daily. As I am carrying groceries with the good hand, I catch the look in her eye as she realizes I am helpless to catch her. Climbing out of her bed is an old trick, but about a month or so ago she figured out how to do doors. It's beyond annoying. She opens and closes doors all day long. One night I came downstairs to check on her only to discover this:

Cute, but not where I was hoping to find her. A few nights later, Mark and I put her down and went to sit on the porch to enjoy the sunset. I sent Mark in to check on the kid, and she wasn't anywhere to be found. He finally found her barefoot, headed out the garage to the horses. At that point the big guns came out and I put up the child door handles. I felt fairly triumphant----until the following night. Once again I went to check on my "sleeping" child at about 11:30. I found her slathering herself with an entire tub of Eucerin Heavy Cream. She was covered head to toe, and it was smeared into my new carpet. I am sure there was smoke coming out of my ears. She knew she was busted, and Mark saved her life. She cried and cried as Mark cleaned her up, and I cried and cried while I attempted to clean up my carpet. Eucerin is petroleum based, so essentially it's fancy Vaseline. It doesn't come out of anything. It was about a week before Paige's hair lost its greasy sheen. The carpet appears fine, but I am sure as the dirt collects the grease pit will re-appear. Her room is now a step away from being padded.

 

The next day, Mark was late to Scouts and was in a hurry. He pressed the garage door opener and heard it going, so he backed right out of the garage. The only problem was he had raised the other door and backed right into the closed one. Awesome. I watched the entire event live and the only thing that kept me from freaking out on him was the realization that my day will come.

 

The day after that, I was doing FaceTime with my mom, explaining how awesome life was being. Paige has had an on and off again rash that we have been to the doctor for as well, and I was asking her what I should do next since Paige's skin was continuing to give me fits. Maybe the 18 extra baths were causing problems?! Anyway, while talking to my mom, Paige finds my glasses. I ask her to give them to me. Instead, she looks me in the  face as she wrenches them with all her might, snapping them right in two. Furious. I'm only legally blind without lenses, and I only need my glasses every single night. Still working on fixing that problem.

 

I am honestly walking on egg shells these days hoping destruction settles somewhere else. In the midst of the madness, we have been trying to have some fun.

 

The sunset Mark and I were enjoying from the porch while Paige escaped.

 

 

Mark's family rented a vacation home in Bear Lake for a weekend. It was an amazing house. It was a nice, hot weekend--perfect for the lake. I really enjoyed being the only fully clothed person on the beach while everyone else cooled off in the water.

The basement of the house. Paige was in heaven. I decided being rich and having this in my house wouldn't be the worst thing ever.

Paige and I at the 4th of July parade. The parade is never great, but this year it was worse than usual. It was so slow. Kids were standing in the middle of the street making it impossible for the people in the parade to move down the street. The parade needs rules. There needs to be more floats and less trucks with signs. We didn't even stay for the whole thing. We had our fill after an hour. I am sure going by ourselves made it less fun. We missed having our family with us. 4th of July was a pretty big day for my family--lot's of traditions. With my parents gone, it just wasn't the same!

We came home and set up Paige's little pool. She has really enjoyed "wimmin" this year. We were signed up for a mommy n me swim class but mommy ruined that! Paige gave Roxy her necklace from the parade. Roxy also let Paige dump teacups of water on her for about 20 minutes. That's when I noticed the water my feet were bathing in was getting a bit murky. Paige ruined the party by pooping in the pool. I haven't set it up since. I feel like the pool and all her toys need to be de-pooped still, and that sounds like too big of a project with the one hand thing.

Paige is on a huge Monsters Inc kick. She wants to watch it every day. She tells me about "monster-ghosts" all the time. I decided with Mark gone, I would tempt fate and try our first movie theatre experience. We went to Monsters University which was fabulous. Paige did so great and loved it. She doesn't weigh enough to keep the folding seat down and eventually got tired of trying, but she stood and watched very well. She laughed and ooo'd and aww'd the entire time. It was great!

I went to my first follow up appointment yesterday and things are looking good. Finally satisfied my curiosity and got to see my ER x-rays. So gross! I am getting some soreness due to cast pressure, so  they had to split my cast---again. Now it is taped to keep the cuts from catching on things. It looks like a craft project gone bad. So attractive. Strange kids are very concerned about me. Wherever I go, some kid will hound me about the details. I was more exciting than the movie the other night!

 

 

As far as adoption news goes, there is none. We are still at a stand still with LDS Family Services and haven't heard from any other of our avenues. We did have one situation come up through an outreach program that was sounding pretty fabulous until I saw the cost. $48,000. Ummm wow. How do people afford that? The baby is born, and healthy, and a girl, and still waiting for a family. If you or someone you know is interested, my heart aches about it, and I would love to direct them to the place they can find more information it. I have to remind myself that things will happen as they should, but it has been so frustrating to feel like nothing is happening. We are just stuck and waiting. I hate that feeling! I went to pay a bill at the gynecologist just the other day and there was a teenage couple in front of me making an appointment. They had just found out they were pregnant. I was dying inside. I felt like butting myself right into their business. They were less than excited about it, and I was literally crying inside. It just doesn't make sense sometimes. I want to wear a shirt that says "hoping to adopt" in hopes someone knows of someone, somewhere and it sparks a conversation. Not to mention the shirt would speak for itself, and my shy self wouldn't have to:)