Adjusting Attitude

 

I recognize my last few posts have had the above tone to them. I wish I could say my attitude is always in check and I'm a sunshine-y type person at all times, but I am not. As much as I wish I could honestly be that way, I also truly believe in being honest. My blog is a real representation of our lives, and that includes some bad days and some less than proud moments. However, I also believe I need to improve---and can. I would love to be more patient, happier, and more optimistic overall. These are things I want to and need to work on. It hasn't been an easy month, and no nothing was seriously unbearable, I know it was much more dramatic due to my own making, and yes I feel pretty foolish knowing people have actual problems that seriously trump mine. We have had our fair share of some substantial life trials, and one lesson I learned from them is, they haven't exempted us from the smaller ones. Nothing we experienced in the last few weeks comes close to what we experienced a few years ago, but we still struggled and had to figure out how to deal with the small ones, that at the time, felt pretty big! In the last conference, Elder Holland gave such a wonderful talk about asserting the faith you do have first, rather than leading with your doubt. I look forward to all of his talks. He is a beautiful teacher and his lessons stick with me for a long time. He manages to discuss something I really need to work on. This last talk was no exception. I need to tackle situations with my best foot forward, even if at the time, there isn't much "best." Attitude, all about adjusting my attitude and outlook.

 

Paige has embraced being two, and while it is amazing to see how much she knows, watch her personality flourish, and laugh at what she says, it isn't without its challenges. I love that one moment she can sing songs with me and give me loves, and then throw an absolute fit about 5 seconds later. She can be a tough cookie. She has a strong willed little personality and quite the rebellious little spirit. These qualities seem to be directly at odds with how sensitive, loving, and happy she is. It's quite the dichotomy. Paige gave me the above death look after I woke her up from a nap. She was sleeping pretty late, and I didn't want to mess with bedtime. She was less than pleased with me and wasn't afraid to let me know it! She was pretty grumpy the entire day, even at the park. I was so tired by the end of the day and was looking forward to bedtime. Usually Mark rocks her at night, but she insisted on me doing it. Since we had been at odds most of the day, I was a little surprised by this and while I hate to admit it, I was looking forward to Mark doing it so I could have a few minutes alone. Paige wasn't having it, so I settled in for some stories, songs, and rocking. (We have the same routine before naps, so it isn't like I feel jilted nightly.)  Paige immediately snuggled up, gave me a kiss on the cheek, and stroked my face. She sang all the songs with me and we spent some special moments together. Moments I was willing to forfeit earlier, but moments I will now cherish forever. I love her and I am so grateful for her, and though I know I am bound to lose my cool with her again in the future, I hope I can learn to be more patient and understanding, taking the time to teach her and help her through her frustrations as well as my own. She has no desire to potty train despite my best efforts. I would love to force her into it, and have tried only to fail on an epic level. I think it's time to put it on the back burner and let her decide when she wants to do it.

 





Paige loves, loves, loves to swing. If you take her, you better be prepared for the long haul. She also has no fear. The higher, the faster, the better. Scares me to death! Life slowed down this weekend and we spent some good old fashioned downtime as a family. Interesting how much this buoyed my spirits. Happiness is sometimes so simple. Sunday we spent time at our friends, watching the kids play together. It was heavenly. Nothing big, just good food and good company. Rejuvenating!

This week for Family Home Evening, Mark and I pulled out all the stops. I was impressed with ourselves really. We had a song, a lesson complete with flannel board, and went out for a treat. While we usually have some sort of FHE, we aren't usually this organized. It was great. Paige really enjoyed putting the pictures up while I read the story about Jesus teaching at the temple. Afterwards, we jumped in the car, got ice cream, and ate it on the temple grounds. It was a gorgeous night. I haven't been to the temple in an embarrassing long time. It was so nice just being near it. Paige had such a great time, and loved talking to Mark about the angel on top. She said it was "Jesus' House" and we felt pretty successful for the night. It was one of those moments that you realized life is as good as you make, you are in charge of your happiness, and time is too short to waste.

It was a night of resolution. Goals were set, attitudes were adjusted, and the outlook is bright.