Angels Among Us

Once again, late at night, I find myself in deep reflection. My sleep schedule is totally messed up and honestly, I don't mind. I like the night. I find it peaceful and calming. I love to stick my ipod in, watch Mark sleep,and think about the day. There is something beautiful about the late night, even at the hospital. I drive home and back and see like two cars the whole time. It is calm and quiet.

Today, I was again overwhelmed by the great people that surround us. We were blessed with visitors and well wishes. I love when they come to our little world and bring a piece of theirs. As they came and went, I couldn't help but think of one of my favorite talks. This quote is from a Conference talk Elder Holland gave in October 2008. I can't believe it has been that long. I swear he just gave it. I can think of no better way to describe the wonderful people around us; they are angels.

"I have spoken here of heavenly help, of angels dispatched to bless us in time of need. But when we speak of those who are instruments in the hand of God, we are reminded that not all angels are from the other side of the veil. Some of them we walk with and talk with—here, now, every day. Some of them reside in our own neighborhoods. Some of them gave birth to us, and in my case, one of them consented to marry me. Indeed heaven never seems closer than when we see the love of God manifested in the kindness and devotion of people so good and so pure that angelic is the only word that comes to mind."

"God never leaves us alone, never leaves us unaided in the challenges that we face."

These are just two particular quotes that hit me hard tonight. Mark and I were surrounded by angels all day. With help like that, what do we have to complain about? Some special angels came and brought us a wonderful gift of experience and understanding. We were shocked and touched when they walked in the room. Thanks you guys. Mark and I went through it item by item and shared a few smiles and a few tears; the rough road has been paved just a little. The visitors throughout the day left us in great spirits. Today was a great day!

Initially, we were supposed to go home this afternoon. This is strange, but I am really grateful we didn't. It all feels a little surreal still. I am glad we haven't had to take it all "home" yet. I know when we leave tomorrow, we take the cancer and all its glory with us. I wish it would all stay here in 2015. The doctor explained to us today that Mark's pneumonia was still a little worrisome. It is secondary to the tumor, but it borders on obstructive pneumonia and he wants Mark to kick it a little more before we go. Mark continues to be on IV antibiotics and started oral antibiotics this evening. If we would have left tonight, we would have packed home oxygen and an IV. I wasn't too thrilled about the prospect. I would rather leave them here and let the nurses take care of all the specifics. What's another night?

Mark woke this morning pretty groggy. He was physically and emotionally spent. About 10 he finally started acting normal....really normal. He was great! He looked good, felt good, and was rearing to go. He didn't seem sick at all. The chemo had done its job, the tumor must have shrunk because Mark was able to breathe better than he has in weeks. His color was good, his pain was better, and his spirits were high. With Mark feeling so great, I felt even better than he did. I almost forgot he was sick. My emotions were in check and almost cheerful all day. We bragged all day long about how great everything was going, I think we spoke a tad too soon. As night came on, Mark began to feel nauseated and reality hit. He hadn't eaten much, but what he had didn't make it too far. After a few episodes, we were able to get an order for anti-nausea pills. Hearing him struggling in the bathroom with his nausea left me thinking that this is just a snapshot of how he will feel as this goes on. I do pretty good until I see him feel sick. I was VERY grateful at this point I hadn't taken him home. I can hear him snoring above my music, so I am sure his meds are calming the storm and  he is getting some rest.

On a side note, my sweet boy gave me these flowers for Valentines day. What a guy:)

Answers or Questions

I have spent basically every waking moment in Mark's room. At night, I go home, shower, feed the dog, and gear up for another day at the hospital. Tonight, when I came back, this is what I found. Mark peacefully sleeping. He is currently on his last chemo med and hopefully will stay this peaceful throughout the night. It is currently midnight, and has been a long day. It is crazy to think those tubes are delivering poison that will shrink his tumor to half its size, possibly by tomorrow. Go poison go!

I used the few seconds of downtime at home to check my Facebook. I knew it would be bombarded, we have had so many people call and text us at the hospital. (On a side note, whoever shoveled snow at my house is my current hero, it was nice not to have to trek through the snow late at night to get my mail, and to get into my house, bless you!) We are so grateful for everyones thoughts and prayers. We can feel them and are relying on them. Honestly, it is the most comforting feeling to know we are not alone in this. I have to give a shoutout to Ironman Jace and his family.  After reading his blog for months, it has always been fresh on my mind. Especially now. Through these crazy days that wonderful blog has answered questions, led to questions, and helped us find comfort. I feel like it has perfectly described my many different feelings and helped me formulate them into words. I have reflected on it often. It is my current Bible:)  This has happened so fast and has been incredibly overwhelming and life changing. Because of this, I recognize that many of you have questions and are wondering how and when this all happened. I feel like I owe it to all of you to let you in on the situation. If you are hoping for this to be as well written as some other blogs, you might be slighly dissapointed. You can blame my high school English teacher;) My last post was quite brief and in the moment. At that time we really did not know much. The picture is much better at this point.

I suppose the beginning is the best place to start. Mark has not felt quite right for about 2 months. December was a rough month, he started off the Christmas season with ACL surgery. Shortly following the surgery, he began to get a nagging cough and cold symptoms. He wasn't sleeping well and felt fatigued frequently. We contributed this to his recent surgery and cold and flu season. I got a little impatient with him at times because he seemed to complain of every symptom he could think of. He had an itching bout with no rash, chest congestion, sinus congestion, arm pain, calf pain, back pain, rib pain, night sweats and yadda yadda. Nothing seemed to be consistent and symptoms would come and go. As soon as he felt like he was turning a corner, the "cold" would sit in again. He finally went to the doctor and received an antibiotic. It didn't make any difference. A week later, he and I went in for our adoption physicals. He once again asked for a different antibiotic and something to help him sleep. Another week went by and his chest and head congestion got much worse. Last Saturday and Sunday, his breathing started to become labored and shallow. He got up early and went to physical therapy for his knee and came home exhausted. He put in a few hours of work and came home wheezing. We knew at that point whatever "cold" he had decided to settle in his chest and we were worried about pneumonia.

Tuesday morning, Mark made an appointment to go see the doctor yet again. They took a chest xray and it was pretty obvious he had pneumonia. He came home with a new antibiotic and some breathing treatments. The doctor told him that they would make a difference right away, but if he lost strength to come back quickly. Wednesday, Mark started to complain of back and chest pain. He felt better Wednesday night and asked for a priesthood blessing so that he could finally turn the corner and get back to work Thursday or Friday. About 4 that morning, Mark woke up and told me it felt like a cinderblock was sitting on his chest. I asked him if it was new, and he said no.  He told me to go back to sleep and he would be fine. At 9, I called the doctor and left a message to see if this was normal, maybe the pneumonia was working its way out. When we didn't hear back right away, I decided it would be easier just to make an appointment. The doctor wasn't in, but the PA could see us at 11. The PA took a look at the xray taken Tuesday before he visited with us. He had a fresh look without knowing any of Mark's complaints or symptoms. When he came in, he told us that we would definitely need a CT scan because the xray didn't look quite right. We rushed straight to the hospital, did the scan, and were sent immediately back down to the medical center. Mark said the xray tech had a look in her eyes that suggested something wasn't quite normal. He said he felt at that moment, this might not be just a bad case of pneumonia.

After waiting what seemed like forever, the PA came in and said, "Well Mark you have a mass in your chest. It is about 14 cm x 10 cm." At that point, Mark and I both gasped. I started to cry, Mark followed pretty close behind. It felt like a bad joke or a bad dream. That seemed massive to me. The PA started to throw around words like chemo, oncology, and biopsy. He signed admit papers and we rushed back to the hospital. I dropped Mark off and went to park the car. I made a few calls to family and friends to let them know. When I got inside, Mark was already back getting blood drawn. They did the biopsy right away. The radiologist came in and showed us the CT scan and we became very scared. It was massive and wrapped around his airway, esophagus, major blood vessels, and into his lungs. It was blocking the vessels from getting blood to his lungs (hence the pneumonia) and to his head (hence the severe head congestion). There were a few nodules in his lungs, so despite the fact we did not have biopsy results yet, it was pretty obvious it was lymphoma, we just didn't know what kind.

We have been furiously working on our adoption papers for a few weeks. Since I was home with Mark all this week, I had gotten quite a big chunk of it done. We had worked on it all day Wednesday and were excited about the prospect of getting a baby in the near future. We were excited after a few failed fertility things. We were very optimistic. How quickly our future changed. In less than 24 hrs, we knew we were facing months of chemo and who knows what else. Everytime a baby is born at the hospital, they play a song and it reminds me that that will not be us for awhile. Dumb song. We waited a few hours before we were able to talk to the oncologist. Those were an awful few hours. We were trying to figure out how they were going to surgically remove a ginormous tumor that was literally "hugging" so many important things. Once the oncologist explained that it would not be removed, but shrunk by chemo, things looked a little more optimistic. Dr. Hancock explained things so well and gave us a roadmap without knowing exactly what kind of lymphoma we were facing. We came out of that meeting feeling very positive and optimistic. The faster growing the tumor was, the faster it would respond to treatment. We figured that with the size, that it was definitely fast growing. Early Thursday I was trying to decide whether or not to play in a bowling league and in my soccer game that night. I thought I would be able to make the late game. Thursday morning and Thursday night were two different worlds.

Today, Friday, Mark started the day with preop questions and tests. He had an ultrasound of his heart and neck area to see if there was anything going on, more nodes, or the tumor affecting his heart. He had surgery at 11:30 to place a port, draw spinal fluid, and take a bone marrow biopsy. At 2 we learned from Dr Hancock that the pathology from Thursday's tumor biopsy was back. Mark officially has a form of NHL known as Diffuse Large B-Cell Lymphoma. From what we are told, if you have to have cancer, this isn't a bad one to have. It responds well to treatment. The spinal fluid came back with no cells which is good. The bone marrow results will come tomorrow. He started response based treatment, beginning with the first of three cycles of chemo. They also did a CT scan of his abdomen with contrast to see if there is any evidence of nodes in his abdomen. We feel like we caught this pretty quick. He is "lucky" it was affecting his airway and caused pneumonia, if it were in his abdomen he might not have had an onset of symptoms and would not have found it as soon. If we would have waited a few more days or a week, he risked the chance of having a stroke since the tumor was affeting blood flow. Finding a good artery for the port proved to be a small challenge since some of his arteries were completely blocked off. They did some "electrical" fishing to get the line squared away correctly.

Dr Hancock was great to spend a lot of time with us explaining the drug cocktail Mark will receive and its side affects. It won't be easy and it won't be fun. He should begin to feel better initially as the medicine will shrink the tumor very quickly, as soon as tomorrow. This will help him breathe and relieve the pressure and pain in his chest. Since it is response based, duration will be based on how well he does. He will probably have radiation therapy once the chemo is done. He will be given meds to counteract the chemo meds. With these, we hope that he feels good enough to get back to work soon and back to our "new" normal life, as was eloquently described by a post on Jace's blog.

Despite the shock and awe of the last two days (which seemed to have gone so fast, but seem so long, our old life seems like a memory), we have been so blessed. We have felt the power of the priesthood through blessing of worthy holders. Mark is a trooper and his spirits are good. He says he has been very calm since a blessing givin by his dad. Dr. Hancock also helped to calm us down. At least now there is a game plan and it has already started. I am doing ok. I have been freaking out and worrying about things that probably don't matter and will come with time. I am learning to take things an hour at a time. I can't put into words how grateful we are to all of you who have sent wishes. It makes me wish I was more vocal when I heard others struggling. I felt concern prayed, but never told them I was. We are buoyed up by the bombardment of support. We feel so blessed for competant doctors who are amazingly caring. We have had many visitors and appreciate them! We have a lot of thank you's to give and if we have missed some of you, we don't mean to. It is hard to keep up with it all. We live in a wonderful community and are blessed with wonderful family and friends. Thank you all! We love and appreciate you more than you know! I want to especially thank the many doctors that have showed concern and have taken to the time out of their busy days to come and check on us, spend time with us, comfort us, and answer questions. The nurses and other hosptal staff have been equally as great and are taking incredible care of us. Those nurses will always have a special place in our hearts. Mark even received a valentine from some mystery kid name Rhett. The small pack of Skittles were a huge blessing. They kept the nasty taste from the chemo drugs at bay. Thank you Rhett! Mark's first official craving...Skittles. I went to Maverick to buy some at 11:30. The lady kind of looked at me funny when I told her that it was all I needed. I told her I just really needed a late night Skittle fix:)

Tomorrow we will get results from the bone marrow biopsy and the CT scan. He will get to go home hopefully sometime Saturday afternoon. I am nervous to be the care giver. It has been nice to let the nurses do it and just be an emotionally supporter (or wreck depending on the moment). Tonight, we are grateful for a loving Heavenly Father, a Savior who atoned for not only sin, but all pain and suffering. We are grateful for doctors, nurses, and modern medicine. We are grateful for Mark's great job, bosses, co-workers, and insurance. We are grateful for nearby families and their incredible support. We are grateful for friends and those of you coming out of the woodwork. We are grateful for mission presidents, stake presidents, our bishop, and ward family. We are grateful for Skittles and valentines.  I am grateful for the internet and social networking. It is so much easier than trying to text and man two phones! I am grateful for snow removal, a dog who somehow understood I was a little down,  and a little boy's blog that prepared me for the scariest day of my life!

The scariest day ever

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers. This is truly a day that I thought would never happen to Mark and I. I think we are still both in a little bit of shock. We don't even know the whole story yet, just that Mark does have some sort of cancer and will be starting treatment tomorrow. He has a mass in his chest that is 14cmx10cm. It was slowly cutting off his airway, which we are now grateful for because it led to its discovery. Right now, all we know is that it is a lymphoma. More tests and results await.

We are optimistic and know that things will work out. Mark is the most amazing person I know. I feel like he carried me through today instead of the other way around. It is crazy how fast your life tips upside down. It was just a month ago that we were struggling with 09 and infertility, I think I will take that back now. Mark said before I left that this is a trial that we are having for a reason and we are supposed to learn something from it. So tomorrow, the journey begins, the learning begins, the figthing begins, and whatever else might be waiting for us. We hope the biopsy comes back with news we want to hear. Thank you again for your thoughts, prayers, and faith. I know Mark appreciates it, as do I!

January in a Nutshell

I can't believe how fast time flies by. I am hoping it keeps going; I am totally sick of winter. I can hear Mark shoveling the foot of snow off the deck. Yuck. Seriously wanting spring. We tried to go for a ride yesterday, and decided after trying to unbury the horse trailer that it was in no way worth it. I was cold sitting in the pick-up. Yes, I am a baby. Now many of you will ask why I live here since I love snow so much, ask Mark. I feel like I used to like winter when I could actually afford to go snowboarding and Mark had knee capable of it. Now I am thinking life would be much happier in a warmer climate.

Despite the joys of winter, January has been a pretty good month. Mark and I officially started our home study for adoption. We are about half way through it. We will get fingerprinted tomorrow for our background checks. I am so excited, not specifically for the background checks, but the adoption. I get nervous once in awhile, just because we have heard that we could actually get a baby pretty soon after are study is complete. That is not so far away. I think the unknown is also a bit scary, but I know it is the right thing so I guess you move ahead. We are trying to get pictures together for our adoption profiles, so we have had to take the camera everywhere. I am sure people are quite annoyed by our new paparazzi status. Here are a few of last months activities:

We rented a cabin with some friends over New Years. It was really fun to watch a bunch of football and eat a bunch of food.

Mark got sworn in as a city council member. It is pretty funny. This picture shows everyone there pretty much. Mark is officially a politician.

At a S.F high school basketball with some friends. We go for the nachos.

I had to take some pictures of me playing indoor soccer for our adoption profiles. Last nights game was a women's league game. It was so much fun! I play so much better when I am not worried about playing good. It was one of my best games. The first picture is of me and my friend Ashlee. We have played together since I was 15-16. I met her playing for a club team in Idaho Falls. I was the new girl and she was one of the few that were nice to me from the beginning. Now, here we are, 10 years later, still playing together. I owe this girl a lot. Her family used to let me stay with them on every soccer tournament trip. I am glad we are still friends! January was good, hoping February is even more exciting!

So long '09

2009--I wish I could say I hated to see you go. The only thing that saddens me about leaving you behind, is how fast you went! I am another year older, and another year is down in the books with little to show for it. I know that blogs usually have some bragging, happy, larger than life moments; I am afraid this post probably won't be that uplifting for anyone. I suppose in these last few hours of 2009, I am feeling a little bit pessimistic and a little bit of a realist. Regardless, overall Mark and I are very blessed. We have each other, a home (for the most part haha), jobs (once again, for the most part), and our health (for the most part). Things are, overall, great. For me, life seems to be on cruise control, in Kansas, where nothing is happening, and if something does, it isn't the end of the world, but it isn't great either. Much like getting a flat tire, but knowing you have a spare. If you have never driven through Kansas and Oklahoma, do it, especially the western parts. It is amazing how much there isn't. Then, you will understand my life in 2009.

The year started off with never ending winter. Do any of you remember a summer? I teach soccer and some other sport classes at the college. I am just part time, so no, I am not a professor. It is a great job, unless it is Mayish--June and there is still snow and freezing temperatures. At 7:45 am, Idaho is cold no matter what month. When summer never comes, working outside has some disadvantages. Basically that is all I remember from the first half of the year, like I said Kansas.

Summer (in the loosest sense of the word) did eventually come. It is by far my favorite time of the year. Why? Because finally I get to do some of this:

And this:

Notice the various layers...summer really struggled. In its defense, I believe this is May. Now comes the flat tire. I feel that the hardest part about growing up is the realization that many of the things you dreamed about as a kid, are never going to happen. How many of us become astronauts, play college sports, or live in a dream house? Overall, that is ok. I decided I was too afraid to be an astronaut, too small to play college sports, and maybe I will live in my dream house someday. Right now, I can't even be a stay at home mom, my dream profession. I feel like very few things in my life have turned out they way I thought they would. One dream, however, actually happened. For as long as I could remember, all I ever wanted was to have a horse and be a cowgirl. I am far from being a cowgirl, but I did get a horse. Maude was a dream come true! I honestly can't believe that I picked out such a great horse. I knew nothing when I found her on the internet. I rode her a few times and I fell in love. Mostly, because I trusted her. When you know nothing, and you jump on a 1200 lb animal, trust becomes pretty important. I can remember the day I got her. It was pretty surreal. Bought all new tack and headed to Roberts. I visited her every day and we got to be pretty good friends. She was pretty much a basket case once in awhile, but even the bad times helped me to learn. Like the time she lost all her hair, no she wasn't dying, she had worms. Or when she would freak out trying to bridle her--because she had bugs in her ears. She taught me a lot about horse and riding; basically everything. She was a symbol to me that yeah, some dreams really do come true, not many, but some. Funny how even that can be messed up.

On June 30th, my horse followed Mark's horse out of the corrals, looking for water. We still don't know how they got out, but they didn't get far. We got a call in the middle of the night from the police and Mark rushed down. I knew I shouldn't go. Mark got down by Mother Hibbard's and a car had collided with my horse. The car won. Fortunately the driver was ok, Maude didn't make it long enough for Mark to get the vet there. I am really glad I didn't see it, but the mental pictures are bad enough. I feel like I didn't do a good job at keeping her safe. I often worry about my dogs getting hit by cars, but not my mare. That night really stunk. It hasn't gotten much easier. I am still horseless, and will be for awhile. We got suckered into buying this guy

and sold him for a loss after finding out he was basically unrideable. He was a big mistake that we will be "learning from" for awhile. Part of my summer of finding myself I did experiment with this:

I loved it but keeping up with the blonde roots got pretty old. So after the hair change and the horse dying, I decided to turn my focus to starting a family with more urgency. We have been trying for a long time to have kids with no luck. I thought I was basically at the adoption or invitro route. I switched doctors and Dr. Barton suggested we try a few more things. I was excited to have options again. I ended up having a few more tests done, all came back fine. After lab-ratting it, we decided to do IUI or artificial insemination. It was super fun (is that the word?) taking hormones, and doing various procedures, and finding out they all didn't work. I think 2009 went so fast because I counted days a lot. Weeks, days, months, yadda yadda. When you are always looking ahead to a certain day of your cycle, you miss out on many moments. Mark had surgery just to frost the cake. On a happy note, we have met our medical deductible times five. Too bad car insurance doesn't work that way... the car could use some surgery. And my stove, and my floors, and my windows. When it rains....it pours!

The months flew by and before I knew it, it was winter once again. For obvious reasons, my sports classes really take a dive in the winter. What I found out was that my classes were really cutting back this year, as in none. I won't be working again until April. That is fine, if I had any thing else to do. It is winter, I am not pregnant nor will I be, and I am at a huge standstill. It isn't a great feeling to see life pass you buy and to feel like everyone is progressing all around you. Mark is on the high council and loves his job. He progressed a lot in '09 as I watched. My future is lookin just as bleak. I could go back to school, but that costs money, money we need for an adoption, or in vitro, or physical therapy, or a house where it doesn't snow inside. I could focus on my hobbies, but they are all outdoor type stuff. I suppose I need to find some new hobbies and maybe volunteer somewhere. I should, and I plan on serving more, but at the end of the day, I can't help but think that my life is really not where I thought it would be. The hardest part is I don't know what I want anymore. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up, and I am up! I do have a new calling, so I have something to push me. I know I shouldn't feel sorry for myself, but I do get down sometimes. It is hard to see so many others having families, having careers, and increasing their talents. I guess I have some work to do. I feel like I wasted 2009. I have no one to blame but myself for that. Hopefully I can make something out of 2010. I know I need to make the most out of everyday, but that is hard when it feels like nothing you do works out. I need more faith that someone has plan for me and that He knows better than I do. My new year resolution...be more proactive in 2010. I don't want another year to pass me by. I am sick of feeling stuck!

Sorry for the really long blog, if any of you made it to the end....congratulations! The sad thing is it really did sum up an entire year, and it wasn't THAT long. If any of you wishes you had some help, I am ready to serve someone else. Let me know what I can do for you. I am grateful that I have a chance to journal once in awhile, at the expense of all of you:) I am still blessed and still grateful. I have this

and this

I have family, friends, and a testimony. I guess at the end of the day, that is all you really need.

Tis the Season

I am really loving Christmas this year. Mark and I decided to simplify and go easy on the gifts. I have tried to make the gifts I have gotten meaningful and few in number. For my family, since we are all over the country and Poland,  we all did services for others on the same day instead of a gift exchange. For Mark's family, we also opted out of the usual gift exchange and helped a family in need. I don't know if it is the emphasis on service or the failed attempts to start a family, but I feel very grateful for the Savior. I have been down and frustrated with my life, and the Christmas spirit has really saved me this year. It seems to be more evident this year than others.

Lately I have been contemplating the amazing miracle the birth of Christ really is. I admire Mary so much, she was an incredible woman. I can't imagine knowing you were to be the mother of a baby that would save the world. She also had to go through the pain and sacrifice of watching her son die for the rest of us. I know the Savior loved and respected his mother so much. He asked his apostles to watch over her as he hung on the cross. It really is mind blowing to know he had a mortal mother, and an immortal father. He truly is the literal, only begotten son of the Father. I have also thought a lot this year about Joseph. What an amazing man! He helped raise a boy that was not his. He basically was an adoptive father which hits really close to me. I hope someday we are adoptive parents. Anyway, Joseph provided and protected his family. He was close to the Spirit and listened, moving his family to Egypt to escape Herod. They were a real family, real people, and probably had some very normal human days. Christ came as a baby, just like the rest of us, and needed a father and mother to care for him. I admire the shepards and wise men who had the faith to find the Messiah and believed in him, as he was, a child. They believed without seeing any of his mortal ministry. They knew that he wasn't just another baby. The believed the prophecies. What an incredible night. One special night that took place in the most humble circumstances, that changed the world. There would be no purpose for us without the birth of the Savior. I love Christmas time; the lights, music, smells, and family. I can't believe it is over in just a few days. I really don't want to see it go!

One of my favorite songs is a primary song written by some very talented people in my ward. The chorus goes:

One night, a babe was born, a perfect baby boy.
The Father's own begotten son, what a gift of joy!
For he came to save the world, for every boy and girl.
A gift of love, from heaven above,
It all happened one night!

A Series of Unfortunate Events

Poor Mark! Maybe if he had a nicer wife, this story would have had a better ending. In July, Mark was showing off his BMX bike skills for his nieces and nephews. He was well equipped with his cowboy boots, and his bike, a bike he last rode when he was twelve. Needless to say, things didn't turn out well. I was inside talking to his parents, when Lauren came in. "Jenny, Mark needs you." I went out on the back lawn and there he was all crumpled in a ball. He told me his knee had popped. Being the patient person I am, my immediate response was anger. I asked him if he could walk and he said yes. I told him to buck up and get moving. He ended up driving us home a few minutes later. He handled things pretty well and just complained that it was sore. I thought since he had no swelling and was able to move around, it probably wasn't that serious. For months Mark did pretty good. He complained occasionally of soreness. I kept telling him he had sprained it and needed to give it time. I really thought he was being a little bit wussy. He gave up golfing, running, his BMX biking days.....and started to feel pretty good. I even got him to the gym in October and he was beginning to work out regularly. He was feeling so good, that he decided to play in the annual Turkey Bowl.

I usually go and play, but I am a fair weather football player and since there was snow on the ground, I bundled up Mark and sent him on his way. It wasn't 30 minutes before I heard the back door open. He came limping in and said he had slipped. I was a little more understanding this time. After all, it had been about 6 months. The Roderick's, sponsors of the Turkey Bowl, captured the special play for us.

This is during

This is after. Take a close look at his face, it is actually pretty funny. We appreciate Dr. Roderick, the team doctor, giving immediate care. After a round of applause, the golf cart came on the field and carted Mark away. He had a tough time walking after this one. I gave in and we decided to go to the doctor on Tuesday. The doctor knew right away Mark had blown his ACL. The wife felt pretty stupid and guilty at this point. I guess I should have listened a little more. We scheduled surgery for Friday. It was a pretty crazy week. Friday morning we arrived at the hospital and I took a before picture.

Nothing like a hospital bed and gown. He was pretty nervous at this point, but I had absolute confidence in the doctor. After they wheeled Mark to surgery, I headed to the cafeteria for lunch. The first person I saw was our doctor. I was a little surprised and tried to figure out where they had taken Mark. The doctor assured me they wouldn't start surgery without him. Confidence restored. About 2 1/2 hours later, Mark came back looking pretty chipper.

His knee is still wrapped up so we don't know what it looks like under all that mess. I can't imagine its pretty. The surgery went well and he had no other damage other than the ACL. He has his first physical therapy session tomorrow and we are looking forward to putting the therapists' kids through college. The whole event came at a bad time. We are really wanting to adopt and are a little frustrated the money we have been saving will be drained rather quickly. He has a pretty long road ahead of him, but he is young and healthy and he should be feeling much better in a few days. Hopefully he can ditch the crutches in a week and it has to be uphill from there! We appreciate our friends and family for all of their love and support. We both will be ten pounds heavier thanks to all the goodies.