Two Hard Days

I knew it was coming, the time where things weren't quite so wonderful, and my attitude wasn't quite so optimistic. This weekend was long and tough. Mark's headache got worse with each passing hour, and since it was the weekend, there was not much we could do. He tried to go to church, but only lasted long enough to take the sacrament. He spent basically two whole days flat on his back. We tried taking pills, drinking caffiene, but nothing helped. Just laying flat and that was even fading. Even to get up to go the bathroom became a challenge. The pain got so intenese, he started to throw up. It was hard to see him so miserable. My dad came over and gave Mark a blessing last night and he was able to get a good sleep. This morning, he had an epidrual blood patch done and it immediately helped his symptoms subside. This time, the back poke didn't seem to bug him that much. The 20ccs of blood they pulled was the tough part. That is a lot of blood. They had to pull from both arms to get enough. He was pretty sore all day and slept the rest of the afternoon. Mark wants to be a pin cushion for Halloween, he has been practicing well. He is grateful to be sitting up tonight, so the few holes were totally worth it.

This weekend was emotional for me. Despite the front I put on, especially on this blog, it isn't always easy. Sometimes things get to me and I have to take a moment or two to cry and vent. These past few weeks have gone by so fast, but they also seemed so long. It has consumed our lives. I hate looking back to when this wasn't the norm and thinking of all the things we were getting excited about. It is hard to put those things on the back burner. I know I need to remain positive and hope those things will happen one day. I felt I was impatient before, and now I am being forced to be even more patient. This weekend I even had some fears that I hate acknowledging, so I won't. I know this week will be better. I know tomorrow will be better. I hate to wish time away because it goes so fast, but I am truly grateful that it is passing. This week will be my "What about Bob" week. Baby steps to 4 o'clock, baby steps to bedtime, baby steps to Tuesday, baby steps to Friday, baby steps to spring, and baby steps to the summer of remission.