10 Months

Paige turned 11 months, but I am behind due to lack of Internet. Mark felt I wasn't isolated enough so we decided to cease all contact with the outside world. Not on purpose, but it feels that way! It can be pretty lonely out here in isolation--but I will say in the last few weeks I have felt very introspective which is easy to do this time of year. First off--we will start with Paige's update.

I honestly have no idea how much she weighs. I do believe she has grown taller. She is still a lightweight but her 3-6 month pants are getting a little short. Her 6-9 month jammies still fit except for the length is getting a bit tight. A few days after her 9 month mark, Paige finally pulled herself up for the first time and I managed to catch it on camera:

It was a proud moment. Now I can't get her to sit down. She always wants to be standing. If you are on the floor playing with her, she would rather watch you play with her toys and she wants to hoist herself up on any leg, limb, shoulder, or head she can find. My coffee table is permanently smeared with little fingerprints. They remind me of all those years I hoped I would fully appreciate President Monson's talk about enjoying the moment because time goes so fast and those fingerprints will be gone before we know it. I believe it, time has certainly flown already. I can't go anywhere or do anything without my shadow. If I am dusting or vacuuming it is only a matter of time before I feel some little hands pulling themselves up on my pants. I can't lie, even though it slows me down, it is one darn good feeling.

I love looking at her cute little bum--especially in jeans. Paige sure loves her grandma. She is also a big fan of the sing-a-ma-jig seen on the floor. She loves stuffed animals and dolls--anything she can pick up, squeeze, and snuggle with. I wish I got the same amount of snuggles! I am so grateful my mom and dad are nearby. Especially when Paige and I need a change of scenery. She is sporting some pretty snazzy sneakers these days. I had to do a big shopping trip and all of her new clothes seem like big girl clothes. It is hard to see my baby get big.

I look like I am totally abusing my child in this picture, but she has cut quite a few teeth again this month. Two new ones with a few more on the way. I had to capture a shot of those fangs before her front tooth came down too far and ruined it. She was pushing hard to be a vampire for Halloween but alas--the girl growls way to much to be anything other than a lion.

I definitely did not make this costume. Someday I might be a fun mom who makes all the Halloween costumes and themes the family around them. I just despise dressing up. I also despise Halloween. I warmed up to it this year, however. It was darn cute seeing Paige in her costume. It will be fun when she is a little older and enjoys getting some candy in her bag. Paige loves my dad. We went to his Stake Conference last week and Paige recognized him on the stand. When she saw him it was all we could do to calm her down and keep her from crawling up there to see him. I would say the feeling is pretty mutual. She knows Grandpa is always good for a snack and a love. When we visit Grandpa at work he shares his lunch and he saves her from all the scary strangers.

By far my favorite picture--ever! This picture is perfectly Paige. She has the most animated facial expressions and this one just cracks me up. This is her excited face and it usually revolves around food. Her entire body tenses up and she pulls this face. Too funny. I was making oatmeal at the time. I wish I got this excited for anything let alone oatmeal. Her hair is seriously out of control. I wish I knew how to style it, but I can hardly do my own. It has a little bit of curl in it and I tried to diffuse it once, but as soon as she crawls around, her hair flies all over and it isn't worth the hassle to fix it. I should cut it, but I can't bring myself to even trim it. I have had people ask how I style it this way. I am not sure if I should take it as a compliment or a hint. With a headband it achieves even greater heights. For the time being I just laugh and smile at my little fluffy duck who growls like a monster.

Paige is a treat queen and loves chocolate licorice. She used to eat anything, but I now have to hide vegetables in oatmeal. If it is off Grandpa's plate, she will eat it--unless it is green. I can't say that I blame her. I wish I could teach her by example, but I only wish I could spit mine out too. Chocolate licorice is way better than anything green.

I turned 28 this month and I know I will get back lash for saying this--but I was so sad. I am in my late 20s and almost 30. Exercise physiology ruined 30 for me. It taught me of all the ways my body deteriorates at 30.You get slower in so many ways. I am already falling apart. My cholesterol is high. Awesome. I have wrinkles and sun damage. Awesome. Now my metabolism train is grinding to a halt and all my muscles are changing in sad ways. But don't worry, I have enough acne to keep it young. Seriously, it was a depressing birthday. The highlight was a girl's trip to visit Paige's birthmom. We hadn't seen her in months and I couldn't wait to spend some time together and for her to see how much Paige had changed.  We got to have dinner with her birthmom and birth grandma. It was wonderful. Paige's birthmom is doing so well and is such an incredible young woman. She is truly someone Paige can be proud of and look up to. I am so proud of her and all the things she is accomplishing in her life. I hope with all her talents and ambition she can use it in a positive way and show the world how positive adoption can be, among many other things. She is learning how to soar for sure.  It is National Adoption month this month, and I feel like it is another holiday. I can't say enough about adoption! It isn't for the faint of heart, but it is a blessing. I am grateful we share an open adoption and Paige will grow up well informed and well loved.

It is interesting to reflect on this time last year. It was so exciting and nerve wracking. Paige's birthmom was nearing full term and the anticipation was a killer. You wanted to be so excited and decorate like crazy and buy all you needed to for a new baby, but there was always that voice in the back of your mind that reminded you to guard yourself in case things didn't work out the way you planned. I cannot explain to someone who hasn't been through it what that is like. I don't know what it is like to be pregnant and to be 9 months pregnant and wishing you weren't, but most of the time when you are 9 months pregnant you know it soon end and you will bring a beautiful baby home. In adoption, there are two mothers and only one of them will take that baby home. Either way, you know one mother will hurt deeply. As excited and as hopeful as I was, I knew that if the placement went through, it was going to be terrible for someone and that made me very sad for a girl I loved a whole awful lot. I couldn't, nor wouldn't, have blamed her for changing her mind, but that was terrifying to consider. Little did I know how difficult the actual week of placement would be for the both of us. Paige's birthmom is the strongest, bravest person I know. I marvel at her and her sacrifice and will forever be indebted. This time last year was hard for a lot of reasons. This time this year, I couldn't have more gratitude in my heart for adoption, for my wonderful angel birthmom who changed my world, and my beautiful daughter Paige who has changed me for the better and has enriched Mark and I's lives more deeply than we could have imagined.

Looking ahead Mark will have surgery this next week. What would our lives be without some sort of medical issue right? Fortunately this is a cake walk. Paige is a happy healthy 11 month old and on her way to leaving the infant world behind. It makes me so sad. I hope someday I will get to experience the magical first year of life again. What a miracle to watch a child change, grow, and learn. It is hard and quite the learning experience, but so worth it. I can't believe she is going to be one! We are anxiously anticipating our first big family vacation. We will get to spend a week at Disneyworld with my entire family. Paige will have a pretty killer first birthday and she won't even remember it. Our house seems to be inching along and it is causing me more stress than it probably should. Getting my hole dug seems a world away which saddens me on many levels. Hopefully the ball gets moving a little faster here and the weather cooperates enough to allow us to start soon. I am grateful for all of my many blessings this week of Thanksgiving. I love the holiday season and the spirit that comes with it. Best wishes to our friends and family. Thank you for all you do for us.



9 months---where did that go?!

I thought that as summer came to an end and fall approached, my life would be a little less crazy. Paige turns ten months at the end of this week, and I haven't gotten around to to do her 9 month update. When I scanned the camera for pictures, I realized I have taken basically none. What a terrible mother! I have a few on my phone, but I am embarrassed that as time and events slip by, I haven't done my best to record them. I think that sometimes my day feels so routine and predictable there is nothing to capture, but when I look at all the things Paige has accomplished this month, I am so mad at myself for not getting the camera out. Fortunately, between my phone and Mark's, I should have at least something. This picture is cute enough to count for ten:

I realize I am biased, but she is seriously the cutest little baby. This is the only way I can get her hair to stay down, keep it soaking wet! It adds to her charm. I can't go anywhere without getting stopped or having people comment about Paige's eyes, hair, smile...whatever. It doesn't hurt that the girl loves the shopping cart and gets all sorts of excited at the store. At 9 months, I feel like the biggest change is her personality is showing more and more. She is so content and loves to observe. She is gentle and inquisitive. She gets her little pointer finger out and loves to touch my nose, eyelashes, books, flowers, jewelry, anything that catches her eye. Paige loves music and dancing. We bought her her own remote in hopes she would leave the real one alone, it isn't THAT cool, but it is cool enough to play music on cue and allows her to break down when she gets the urge. When she doesn't feel like she is getting the attention she deserves, Paige will fake cough hoping that we will all think there is a serious problem and come running. She can really get into and I fear sometimes she is going to make herself throw up. Paige knows she is cute and likes to lay it on thick. She will smile big and crinkle her nose, baring her new set of teeth--her fangs!

This month has been a tough one since Paige was teething through most of it and refused nap time quite regularly--like she is right now:) I know some of it was her teeth and some of it was the lack of a good schedule since this month was crazy for us. Paige now has four teeth--her two bottom and her two top incisors. I don't think I have ever seen a baby grow her fangs first, perhaps she is part vampire. In any case, it is a pretty awesome site. With the teeth came Paige's first snotty nose. She has been so ridiculously healthy that some nose congestion was quite the change for us. She had her 9 month well check and is 27 in long, 17.5 in head, and weighs 14 lbs 10 oz. She is teeny tiny and is not in a percentile at the moment.

Mobility has officially reached our home. Paige was a little timid about it first, but quickly got the hang of it and is now a crawling machine. It has been fun to watch her figure it out. She quickly decided she wanted more and started trying to stand up. Right now it looks a lot more like yoga, downward facing dog has been mastered, but at least she tries! Last Sunday, she stood up on the church pew on her own and stayed there for awhile That was a first for her. She also has been crawling to side of the crib and kneeling alongside, beckoning me to come and save her. We will need to lower the mattress shortly! Until this month, I never felt Paige showed much affection, but that all changed and I couldn't be happier. It started with stranger danger. Paige would snuggle  up next to me when she felt shy or didn't want me to pass her off to someone she didn't know. Now she does it all the time. She will crawl over and rest her head on your lab or limb, whatever she can snuggle with. I finally get kisses once in awhile too. I love it! I don't think there is a better feeling in the world. It melts my heart and reminds me that all those years of waiting were more than worth it. Mark and I have a beautiful, happy, healthy, peaceful baby girl. What a blessing! I can't imagine my life without her. She brings so much joy into our home--I can't seem to get enough of this girl. I love her more every day!

The other big news this past month and the reason for many sleepless nights and the loss of my mental capacities was moving. We sold our home, my dream home. I loved that house! It was hard to leave the first place I felt like I made home for us. Especially Paige's nursery. I remember being so excited getting it ready for her. Earlier this year, Mark was making multiple trips all over the area taking care of livestock. We never saw him, and we realized we made a big mistake not buying in the country where we could just have everything on our own property. Being a city girl, I like the convenience of being close to everything and having sidewalks, but I like my husband more. Our long term goals could not be met living on .25 acres. We figured we could replicate the house and build on some property. We decided to put our house up  on the market and we weren't really aggressive about selling it, but it's a great house and someone else thought so too.

The closing process was tough this time around--it is a long story, but we finally got things worked out this week and it was a nail biter to the end. I had mixed feelings almost the entire time and felt very overwhelmed. Leaving our home and moving into a rental wasn't easy. It felt much better once we unpacked and got settled. Once we finally signed the papers, I felt such relief and peace. I knew everything would be ok. I think sometimes we try to take on too much at once, and once I decided to take things one step at a time, everything was fine. We still have a few hurdles figuring out the next steps, but I am pledging to take it all a day at a time.

I feel very blessed this month. Mark's cancer scan came back clear and his health continues to improve. We had a little more anxiety this time around, but it ended up being a different problem requiring surgery, not lymphoma. what a relief! Mark will have surgery later this year, but it shouldn't be a big deal. Conference was amazing and I am sad to see it come and go. I remember hating Conference when I was little, and now it seems like another holiday. I love the boost I feel in my spirituality and my testimony. Despite a stressful month, I feel like I have been more than blessed and I am so grateful. I hope that I can give back and show my appreciation to my Heavenly Father. Hope the fall is finding you all well! Good family and friends truly are our greatest blessings.

8 Months and More

Wow--I have been a terrible blogger lately. I guess summer decided to stick around and finding time to sit inside and blog wasn't much of a priority. I'm not sure if anyone still reads this, especially with my inconsistent posting, but I feel like I have finally been inspired to get some updating done.

I feel like we have been really busy doing nothing but it sure has made me tired! Our one vacation this summer was thanks to our awesome friends who invited us up to their cabin. I don't know if they realize how much we needed this little break, and how much we love and appreciate them. They are SO good to us and one of the many reasons I thank my Heavenly Father daily for the support system we have around us. The older I get, the less daring I become and the more fearful I am of trying new things. Since our pals have an amazing boat, I knew I was going to get roped into trying to wakeboard. I was really nervous about this, but after some prodding I decided I had to give it a try. I'm sure I looked amazing the first few times, but I felt like I got the hang of it and I am now officially hooked. I love it! Even the freezing cold water couldn't deter me. Paige loved the boat, and loved Danyele letting her suck on Swedish Fish. Mark was nervous about getting on the wakeboard as well--it was the first real test his knee has had since the ACL/cancer deal. He took it easy, but I think he loved getting out there too.

Being big, standing up, and loving the boat ride.

Kicking it back with Dad.

Using a high level of concentration trying to figure out how to get in and out of the wake without crashing.

Paige turned 8 months and has really changed in just a short time. She eats a lot more solid foods and has mastered rolling to the point of near mobility. She rolls everywhere! In the past two weeks she has started to get on her hands and knees, but can only move backwards. I can see the frustration in her face because she thinks is moving forward until she figures out the toy she wanted is further away. It is fun to see her figure things out. She moved up from the Bumbo to her own high chair and loves it. She loves to feed herself Gerber puffs and such off the tray--that was a  learning feat in and of itself. She now has the little pinchers mastered. Paige loves a good book and its the only time I can get her to sit still and snuggle with me. She has a mean streak of independence at the right ole age of 8 months. I'm taking the liberty of blaming her birth mother for that strong independence gene!;)

Mark's company rented out the new Rexburg Rapids for and evening and it was the perfect time to take Paige for her first swim. She loved it! Honestly--the girl has no fear. I have yet to see her get anxious about any new adventure. She shows stranger danger now and then, but for the most part will let just about anyone hold her.

With her new found mobility, she is always sleeping in a crazy position. I particularly love the foot.

The cutest face ever.

First time in the pool.

Splashing the feet and back floating.

Braving the slide. Mark was pretty scared.

Wondering what to think about the whole deal.

Had to prove I was there, and yes I've experimented with brown hair again.

Loving Grandpa and the fact he will share his Popsicle's. Seriously those cheeks!

Just because a Steiner summer wouldn't be the same without some sort of tragedy--we got a call two weeks ago that our favorite horse Chula was dead out in the pasture. The verdict is still out as to what happened to our 4 year old horse. We think it was a heart attack or perhaps lightening. He had been to the vet 4 days previous and had gotten a clean bill of health. It was quite the shock and we miss him. Mark had spent a lot of time on him with the trainer this winter and they both had learned a lot. We had high hopes for him. It is hard to lose a horse, especially when you have worked hard to build a trusting relationship. Chula had the perfect personality and size to be the perfect horse for Paige. We hoped the would grow up together. Earlier this summer we sold our other horse Sonny, so for right now our barn is empty. For the first time in our married lives, we don't own a horse. It feels a little empty and our hearts hurt a bit.

These were taken earlier this summer. I rode twice this summer, for like 30 minutes. I miss it and it looks like I will be missing it for awhile.

I have no pictures, except for some awesome ones of me basically eating on Facebook, but I was able to finish the Grand Teton Relay. It was a pretty fun race. They have a few things to iron out, and I feel very lucky our team didn't come across a bear--a few other teams weren't so lucky. I ran good times for me on each of my legs for which I was grateful after a lack luster training schedule. I had a van full of the most amazing ladies. It was hard to leave Paige for the first time, but it was great being around some of my favorite people. I appreciated the laughs and the support of good friends. Overall it was a great experience, even though the night and day after were probably some of the most painful I have ever experienced after 6 miles down the Jackson Pass. I'm grateful I didn't have to run up it, but it seriously tore my muscles up coming down! Thanks Hali for the invit, I had a fabulous time.

Last but definitely not least, you will notice the new button I just had to grab for my side bar. I stumbled across this blog via the Sullengers, and it pulled at my heart strings. I can't help but think of this family everyday and I check their blog daily. They are an incredible family! Mercedi is one amazing woman and is fast becoming one of my heroes and I don't even know her. I wish I did! I am grateful she is willing to share their story with the rest of us. I wish I could do more, but I think they could use all the prayers they could get. There is also a place on their page to donate and help them out. I can't imagine a more deserving cause. This blog reminds me how fragile life is, how fast it can change, how important family is, and that miracles never cease.

7 Months

Paige is seriously the cutest--(even though currently she is refusing to take a nap despite the fact she can hardly keep her eyes open, at least she is making cute sounds). One year ago I was a nervous wreck, we were headed to Utah in the morning to meet our prospective birthmother for the first time, at the agency. I had never done anything like this, and though we had hit it off through our emails, I was still really nervous about meeting her in person. I wanted her to like us so badly! I had put together a package that I was hoping she would like. I wondered what to wear. I wondered what to say, what to ask. Ahhh! Incredibly, as soon as we were finally face to face, it felt like we had known each other for years. We immediately hugged, and for me--that was it! I was immediately hooked. I love our sweet angel birthmother and I love thinking back on our time together. Here we are a year later, I love her more than ever, and I love this sweet adorable miracle I get to squeeze everyday.

The day before her 7 month mark, Paige decided it was time to roll over. Since then, she is now a pro, except she can't roll from her tummy to her back quite yet. She is close, but she mostly just gets stuck and asks for a little help. She actually is trying to crawl, but can't figure out the logistics and it appears mobility will be a ways off still. Paige sits up like a champ these days and loves to think she is big. She has recently started to eat some finger foods and LOVES them. She doesn't quite know that she can feed herself yet. She would rather hold them in her hands and open her mouth for me to put something in it. The first try, she was able to feed herself, I think she realized it was just easier if I did it and has refused since. I do however love watching someone chew with two bottom teeth. It is quite the feat. I don't think I could do it personally.

Paige went to her first parade on the 4th of July, which she hated, but did much better at the Pioneer Day parade. She actually sat peacefully through the whole thing and made adorable growls at things she liked. Last Sunday, she went on her first 4-wheeler ride which she loved. I think she likes the wind blowing through her hair. Her hair is still a mess, but a hot mess so I can't bring myself to cut it. She is something else and Mark and I just love having her in our lives!

As for Mark and I, when we aren't busy being parents, Mark finds work and I play soccer once a week. I am supposed to be doing the Grand Teton Relay in August and have had a rigorous training schedule of not running. I do a little here and there, but definitely not enough. I am taking the optimistic approach with the power of positive thinking to somehow help me to finish. If anyone wants to run for me, I would love to let them;) Mark seriously comes home from work and then finds some sort of work to do. Mostly stuff for the horses which he loves so I suppose it is fun for him. We are trying to sell our house in hopes of having livestock at our house so we might actually enjoy them as a family. Darn market isn't super conducive to selling, but since I adore this house, I hope someone else might as well. Mark's health continues to be amazing and cancer sure seems like a thing of the past, except for an occasional check-up and a few gut wrenching nightmares that freak Mark out once in awhile. Overall, we are loving summer, being outside, working in the yard, and being together. Here are a few pictures of the last little while:

Having a good time with Grandpa at the parade.

Love this face--and that she always has her arms spread eagle.

Seeing the pattern? Grandpa, spread eagle, the usual.

This is a super cool trick Grandpa taught her. She is just too cute.

Love her!

At the parade, we look amazing I know.

6 Months

Yes--Paige is 7 months, I will get there eventually. But, for the sake of journaling, I can't just leap ahead. Here is Paige's 6 month update:

Weight: 13 lbs 3 oz 10th percentile
Height: 25 in 25th percentile
Head: 16 in
Chest: 15 in

Paige is such a sweet little bug! She is eating all sorts of foods now,  but her favorite seems to be squash--except the strawberry yogurt fruit dip from Chiz's and cream cheese frosting Grandpa snuck her were also a hit. She actually eats really well and even downs green beans. Sadly, she is a healthier eater than I am! She sleeps super good at night,  but naptime has been somewhat difficult the last few weeks. Feel free to offer suggestions! Paige is an observer. She LOVES to people watch. She is very even tempered and content. The only time I see her upset is when she is tired. Unreasonable Paige then makes an appearance, but who can blame her! I'm all sorts of grumpy when I am tired too. Paige loves her feet and thinks they are an extra set of hands. Grandma set out an awesome firetruck for her at the doctor, and Paige's first instinct was to grab it with her toes and raise the ladder up with her feet. Talented, but slightly alarming. Her favorite sound to make is a subtle growl. I am not quite sure where that came from (Mark) or where the crinkle face snort smile maneuver (Mark) comes from. The girl loves her daddy, which still seems rather unfair. I work hard at trying to get her to say "mamamamama" but I can promise her first word will probably be "Roxy," "No," or "dadda". Paige loves to watch Roxy and if she is upset, Roxy can usually snap her out of it. The heavy breathing and growling might have come from Roxy, but it is hard to say since Mark also shares those characteristics;)

Paige is definitely a little girl. She loves flowers and is so gentle with them. She graces them with her fingers and growls in awe. She is pretty soft when she touches the curtains, my hair, or Roxy's ears with her little hands. Her feet are a different story. Her legs have a mind of their own and she loves to throw them about and slams them on the floor or on her mattress. She has only a few toys that catch her interest, and they are all things she can handle gingerly with her fingers. The caterpillar that hangs from her carseat is a favorite and I can hear her talking to him in the backseat while I drive. So cute! Paige officially has two teeth and I think she is working on another. Paige also loves her stroller and will sit in it for hours as long as it is moving. She really has no fear and really doesn't shy away from anything, animals, people, fireworks.....whatever! Paige is such a sweet girl and the love of our life!

This month was also our second year participating in Relay for Life. It was interesting to see how different life can be in a year. Last year, Mark was just a few days post chemotherapy and let's be honest, he looked terrible! This year, he was able to take his survivor lap with his beautiful daughter in perfect health. We live in such an amazing community and it was fun to meet up with our cancer family to celebrate life. We love Relay and are grateful to all those who put so much into it.

Other than that, our summer has been pretty low key. We are enjoying the sunshine that finally decided to stick around. We managed to get some landscaping done and I actually had a blast doing it. The more I work on our house to make it more appealing to buyers, the more I love it myself! It is a great house and I would love to build a very similar one someday--perhaps in a very warm place.

Happy girl with pants that are still too big. They pretty much are up to her armpits in this picture. If you look close, you can see her teeth there on the bottom.

Cute little face!

All together at Relay for Life

Walking with her dad on the survivor lap.

A back view of her special hairdo. Blonde and long in front, bald and dark in the back. It is her shadow box/mullet look.

"I Can Do Hard Things"

I have had the blues lately--and it's been frustrating because I know I shouldn't have them. I am SO blessed and have SO many joys in my life, so why get down? I don't know if the "lovely" weather has been the culprit, or perhaps the many things that Mark seems to be up to while my days seem mundane. There have been moments where I have wanted to throw a bit of a pity party for myself, but Paige will have none of it. She is pretty good at bringing a smile to my face, even briefly to remind me of my blessings. This past week, I have tried harder to be of service to others. I have to say--it really did help! I still had some lows, but I also was able to see things clearly and I learned a little bit.

For no good reason, I am an avid "16 and Pregnant" and "Teen Mom" watcher. For the most part, these shows grate the insides of my very soul. I have violent tendencies towards the TV and the people in these stories. I want to seriously shake sense right into them! Most of the time, adoption is hardly mentioned in these episodes, and except for a slim few, it is never the chosen path. The past two weeks, 15 year olds have chosen to parent their children, convincing themselves that they can do it, their boyfriends are amazing, and you don't "give away blood." Last episode, the boyfriend's mother gave a fabulous sermon about not abandoning family--then telling her 15 year old that he needed to come right home after school because he was spending too much time away from home to be with his pregnant girlfriend. When the baby came, teen mom was frustrated that teen dad didn't support them financially, got to stay in high school, and he didn't want to help take care of the baby (umm he is 15, can't drive, can't work, and did I mention he is 15?). She cried and screamed about it not being fair that she had to sacrifice so much and take care of the baby while he lived a normal life. There are seriously so many maddening moments, but what resonated with me was her continual pleas about life not being fair.

Therein lies my lesson. I find it is easy for me to say life isn't fair, sadly, I am blessed and I have probably wound up on the fair side more than the unfair side. This isn't a new lesson, but I guess this week a light shone on it in a new way. Life is hard. It just is. Bad things happen every single day. Crime, disasters, economic instability, failed relationships, health problems, infertility, and the list goes on. As the search begins for a presidential candidate, people are looking for a superhero who is somehow going to make life fair and make it easier for all of us--take away all the hard, uncertain trials we face. That is a whole different type of post, but what I am trying to get at is that maybe we should all just accept the fact that life is hard--and find it as another challenge to the human spirit and rise above it. How many other things in our life do we choose to do voluntarily precisely because it IS hard? No one ever climbs a mountain because it's easy, or run a long distance race because it's a cinch. No one plays sports because they are simple and we all can do them the best. They are fun because they are challenging, they push us! We all watch professional and collegiate sports because we aren't good enough to be there ourselves, that's the point! Exercising, eating right, having amazing skin, hair etc, all those things are hard, take time, and consistency. When we see the model on the cover of the magazine we are in awe of her amazing body--well she does hard things! Every time I see a magazine cover of a beautiful celebrity, I think "Wow, I wish I looked like her," but not really, because I pretty much like to eat frosting out of the container and she eats fish. She has to eat fish. The day she doesn't, some camera will capture her looking bloated, swimming the ocean. Can you imagine the daily pressure they have just to look good? Enormous and sad, consider what a shallow pressure that is. How much time do they waste just to look good? That is their job--what a sad job! And any imperfections they do have are airbrushed away, a luxury many of us don't have.  Really, ANYTHING worth doing is hard. The gospel is hard, cultivating a talent is hard, thinking of others more than ourselves is hard. At what point did we decide it should have all been easy and since it isn't, we are just going to gripe about it being hard? I look at Paige cutting teeth, and guess what..it is hard for her! Even something as natural and as good as cutting teeth is hard, but I bet someday she is glad she has them. Would we really want everything to be easy? Where's the growth?

I guess the moral of this very long post is just for me. I needed to remind myself that all things worth doing and having are only obtained by enduring hard things, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Instead of getting down about it, the sooner I accept it, the sooner I can change my attitude and work towards overcoming them and being a better person. Stop deluding myself into thinking that whatever it is I am looking for will come easily--whether it is my marriage, being a good mom, being healthy, growing my testimony. All these things will be hard, but they will be worth it.

5 Months

I suppose since Paige is almost six months, I better get a five month post in here. Paige is my cute, tiny lil bug.She still sports 0-3 month clothing, especially pants. I have been able to break her into some 3-6 month shirts and jammies, but the pants are waayyy to big, even leggings. Paige will smile and laugh but she is mostly just content. Never super smiley and crazy, but never super upset either. There are exceptions, but overall she is mild and easy going--content to observe. She breaks into a smile whenever she wakes up, sees her daddy, and she loves Roxy. Roxy apparently is the clown of the house. Paige eats rice cereal like a champ at 5 months, started oatmeal a few weeks later. I tried introducing peas and green beans, but she adamently refuses anything green. I can't say I blame her there--I am not known as an excellent vegetable eater either.

Paige shows interest in rolling over and can get on her side, but she can't quite make it all the way over. It is always back to front when she tries. She finally enjoys tummy time, but screams when she is ready to be done. She recently has been able to sit a bit on her own. She now wants mom to sit her upright and keep her there rather than laying on the ground with her toys. It allows mom no time to get things done since she must keep one leg behind Paige to balance her. Paige loves the jogging stroller and recently took down a 5.5 mile run. Afterwards she was exhausted and took a 3 hr nap; that stroller riding is hard work. My perfectly healthy baby has her first snotty nose, courtesy of me. Drats! Hopefully it doesn't get too bad. She is also teething which hasn't been too fun for either of us.

Her special friend Mandi recently showed her a few new ways to deal with her comb over, we will have to take a picture. Paige has an awesome bald spot in back, super long hair on top, and white fluffy down coming in all over. It is quite the style. She likes to read books but has the attention span of a 5 month old.

Yes--she is sad, but I love the lip she sticks out when she gets upset.

First time sitting on her own.

First time on the horse. She is a natural and will be a better cowgirl than I ever could be.