Freedom!

Can somebody slow time down? Goodness the days are moving fast. I have had so much fun lately, most of it involving horseback riding. Last week I ditched my normal riding partner (Mark) and went with my good friend Beth. She essentially acted as my ranch hand. She picked me up, trailered my horse, saddled my horse, bridled my horse, the works. First class service I tell you! I had the best time though (no offense Mark). It was so leisurely and a whole lot of talking went on. Saturday was clean the house catch up day. I worked while Mark went for a motorcycle ride. He rewarded me with another horse ride that night though, so it worked out. We went to a friends arena which is always a good time. I am able to work on things that aren't possible on a trail type ride. Tucker is unbelievable in the arena, and Paige rides him herself in there. She loves it and thinks she is a pretty big deal. She requested a rope as she rode. Silly girl. Tucker puts his head down and follows me as I walk around the arena. Paige holds the reins and is certain she is in control.

Sunday we took a drive and checked out some of the local waterfalls. It was a nice little family excursion. We tried our best at a family "selfie"-----not easy I tell ya!

 

I am holding Paige, leaning in for the shot, and looking twenty years older than I am. At least you can't see the awesome complexion I am rocking. The wrinkles are distracting from the acne and melasma. How do I get so lucky to have the skin of a 14 year old and a 65 year old? And we weren't able to catch the waterfall in there, but at least no ones head is chopped off! Mark had Paige on his shoulders as he peered over the guardrail. Let's talk about over protective mommy. I was freaking. I was having all sorts of mental pictures of Paige tumbling over the cliff. Mark was not concerned and laughed at me. Maybe I'm a nervous nelly, but seriously someone has to be on my side!

 

 

Monday was the big day, the day the smelly cast and I parted ways. The freedom and excitement of the experience was shattered as I realized how uncomfortable that freedom is after 6 weeks of confinement. Apparently, only half of the break has healed. I have one side that is still completely cracked, and honestly there is a fairly substantial gapping. The doctor didn't seem too concerned, besides giving me a brace to wear when I do anything active. I find it a bit unsettling. In summary, it is still broke but I am to act like it isn't.  I have about 30 degrees of movement, it is so stiff. I am to improve that or face physical therapy. Trying to move past that isn't easy. Paige and I have been doing Mommy 'n Me swim class and it is both fun and torturous. I am constantly lifting and catching her and it is beyond uncomfortable. Maybe one of these times I will catch her and it will either snap into full motion, or just help that crack along.

 

 

Saying goodbye to the bacteria farm.

 

The withered limb. Washing my hands fully was a joy. Once I got all the dead skin off, I had a pretty cool tan line. This wrist is actually bigger than my left now, not smaller, so withered might be the wrong word.

 

 

Boots is a little bipolar. She can be very friendly, or very----not. Paige shared her chalk which seemed to please the cat, and the cat even allowed Paige to decorate her a bit.

 

Mark is always giving Paige a ride on his shoulders, I caught her doing this with her baby doll the other day. Too funny, but also slightly scary as that baby glares into the camera with the sinister smile. Why do baby dolls appear so creepy sometimes?

 

 

I have spent the remainder of this week adoption networking as much as possible and talking to a million attorneys it seems like. It is a rollercoaster and there are things that give me hope, and things that discourage me. I have become a skeptic and I am forever fearful of scams or dishonesty or losing lots of money due to a disruption. It is scary to trust strangers in different states. I have been trying to talk with them to get their program details, and then I spend hours looking for references and checking licenses, and hoping they are who they say they are. I do feel like being proactive has helped me feel in control at least a little. In adoption, it often feels like you have no control or say. You are at the mercy of so many others, and it is one of the hardest things. You are often trusting complete strangers with your heart, your emotions, and your money. Sadly, there are so many stories of people more than willing to take advantage of desperate families. But, I have come across some new avenues and things I haven't considered before, and I have lots of leads. I have learned a lot too which is never a bad thing.  I feel hopeful and so we forge on!