Change

Earlier this year, it felt that everyone and everything around me was going through a change of sorts, and I was stagnant. I HATED it. Some people really like to coast, and I probably should too, but I am not good at it. I get anxious and crave change. I don't know what's wrong with me. If no outside forces are causing anxiety, I can conjure up some good worries all on my own. I fretted about my perceived road blocks and wished for something, anything to happen. Then a whole lot of rollercoaster rides happened, none of which resulted in anything but a good ride and I kind of wanted off! I realized that living the good life wasn't too bad and it really was possible to just be happy. Once again, I credit it to good people in my life. As my birthday neared, I was pretty darn depressed that where I thought I'd be at 30 is not where I am at all. I thought I'd have things figured out at this point. When you're 15, 30 seems plenty old to have yourself together! I do not think for one bit I have this life thing figured out. I still don't know how to dress, or how to wear make-up. I still have juvenile thoughts and tendencies. I honestly just feel slower, older, have welcomed some unflattering additions like wrinkles, sun damage (self-induced but no melanoma----yet, that's my current favorite worry btw) and unwanted hair in unwanted places (too much information you say?!).  However, I am learning that some things are just flat out of my control and I will always want something different until I learn to just accept things and choose to be happy. It's a new thing for me and I am not an expert yet. I could feel a sense of despair setting in today about something I wish and want so badly, but it is out of my hands and no sense letting the want ruin the now! So, while nothing in my life has changed much this year, I have noticed a few small differences. Mostly in myself. I'm trying and that's an ok place to be.

 

This little bug is constantly changing. Doesn't she just look so grown up? She is getting big and smart and just blossoming into her own little person. We got our flu shots and she handled it like a champ! Mine hurt like a bugger and I had a sore arm for a few days. What gives?!

 

 

Paige gave me the sticker she got for being so brave at the doctor. She placed it there herself and said my "owie" was all better. It did make me feel pretty good and I'm sure drew even more attention  to the club. I go in tomorrow and hope to say goodbye to this thing and learn the game plan for the next 3 months.

 

 

Mark and Paige gave me this beautiful picture for my birthday. I've wanted it for years but couldn't bring myself to purchase it. I love it, and it looks great in our living room. And of course what's a day without some tea from a pink cup?

 

 

And just to make Monday a bit more bearable, we met up with Beth and her cute boys for some playtime. I'm thinking an arranged marriage might be in Paige's future, and Beth has two good options! Paige had a great time sitting there with Parker until we actually put a token in the ride. At that point she was done.