Ramblings

 

The title of this post will make more sense as I go along, but I wanted to do a house update before I got into the more important stuff. I was noticing the other day that I have hardly any exterior photos of the house posted. I suppose it's because its been a slow go on the outside. It was basically a plywood mess until a few weeks ago. These pictures are a little outdated already. The columns have since been trimmed out, and rock is going up. It is coming together well----but not fast enough! I am anxious to be in for the holidays. I was anxious to be in a few months ago. We are now in worst, worst, worst case scenario and still waiting on cabinets for at least another week. Uugghhhh. 

 

This picture was taken a few days ago. That pretty sand pile is ready for concrete now.

 This particular picture showcases Mark and I's current disagreement. I initially wanted both gables to have the lighter, vertical siding. There was miscommunication (imagine that) and the builder ordered only enough to do as shown. Both of my siding choices were special order, and I didn't want to rip down what we had to wait around for a month. Since we already paid for this siding, it might as well cover the plywood. In the meantime, Mark decided he likes this look better. He likes that the gables are different and contrast each other. I conceded that it does look OK, but I maintain I want that white strip that separates the vertical from the horizontal to go clear across. Mark and all the guys at the construction site think it looks fine the way it is, and the white line's job is to separate the two different sidings, and would look funny on the other garage with just one siding type.

 A completed look at the siding from the back

The only big progress made this week was my vinyl floors. My bathrooms, kitchen, and mud room are officially done. I really like this product. I am crazy and opted out of tile or real hardwood in these areas. I wanted easy to clean and maintain. I like how it all turned out.

I think this looks pretty good even being crazy dirty

 Luxury vinyl folks....looks pretty good don't ya think?

 

 

Now on to the most important thing in my life, this little bug! Paige is getting big, full of attitude, and crazy! She can make me laugh, cry, scream, sigh, and burst with joy all in the same day. I can't believe she will be 2 in one month. She is turning into quite the talker. I sometimes can understand her, and sometimes I have no idea. She will ramble a few sentences and I am sure she knows what she is saying, but I haven't a clue. I got a pretty stern lecture complete with finger shaking and scowl, but I still don't have a clue as to what it was all about! She loves the phone and wants to call someone as soon as she gets up. She holds any number of things to her ear and says "yo----yuv you---bye. " She tries to say "hello" but it sounds like "yo", she really isn't trying to be gangster, but it is hilarious nevertheless. Paige loves cows, snacks, kitty's, and getting into things. Some of her favorite things to grab are glasses, phones, my earplugs, pens, Roxy's dog food, things out of the garbage, and laundry. She is big into giving kisses and saying prayers lately. The terrible twos have arrived and Paige loves to throw herself on the floor or throw a tantrum if things don't go her way. Paige likes to tell me she is two and shows me she is two with three fingers. She informed me the other day she was in charge, which is likely true. At 2, she is pretty sure she can do anything herself---especially eating. It's a battle to convince her to let me help her. Last week she figured out how to climb out of her crib and open doors. My defenses are all gone. At a friends, she found her way to the makeup drawer and smothered lipstick all over herself. Later that day she picked out some snacks from the garbage can. Her hands are constantly reaching for something. I am shocked at what she can reach from a shopping cart. The little pick pocket always snatches something when I am not looking!

 

Paige loves to have me take her picture on my phone and then show it to her. She always gives me a good "cheese" and then says "more, cheese?" Cheap entertainment I suppose. When I ask Paige a question, she will sometimes tap her lips with a finger and say, "hmmmmm" as if she is making a huge decision. Paige likes to dance, but only to Kesha's "Die Young." Don't ask me why, but she loves to groove to that song.  We have tried to record it, but it isn't easy. She isn't one for an audience. A few days ago,  I got her all dressed for the day, Paige told me she was "so cute."  I had to agree with her on that one! I love her, even though she can be pretty difficult at times, she will give me a hug, a kiss, or a little pat and it is all forgotten. She likes me to rest my head on her lap and she will rub or pat my head. If I try to get up, she tells me "more" and pushes my head back down. I love when she shows affection, emotion, and concern. Paige is really turning into a big girl. Mark and I are so blessed to have her in our home. She keeps us young and on our toes.



This little turkey loves glasses. She is constantly stealing them from our nightstands. I don't know how she even sees with my glass bottles on.

Paige has a slight obsession with shoes, especially boots. The DC's were her choice this morning and I was impressed she got them on the right feet. She is actually saying "cheese" in all these pictures.

Silly girl!

Loves my headbands. I came downstairs to find she had fixed her own hair and figured out how to climb up the chairs and onto the table. I have been lucky it has taken her this long to discover she could get up there.

These are clean clothes, from her drawers. I had an even better surprise when I got to her room. Half of her drawers on the floor, the other half in the dirty clothes basket. Amazing how fast they can be destructive.

Another "cheese" moment. It cracks me up.

I love when she sits long enough for me to pull her hair all up. It is getting long again, and a little thicker. She is really starting to look grown-up!

 

This is becoming a long and boring post, but I have had a few things weighing on my mind lately. I have so much to be grateful for, and I feel so blessed, so it is frustrating to feel discouraged about things. I was really hoping to be out of this rental by now and "home" for the holidays. All my stuff is in storage, and with Paige getting older, I wanted to be doing home type things instead of the crazy, hectic mess things are right now. Limbo is a terrible place to reside. One of Paige's favorite words is "mess" and it's no wonder considering how much I say it. Sometimes everything just feels like a mess. I know it runs deeper than the new house, or this house(even though this house really is a mess), or any "things." My birthday comes and goes, and I get older and it's hard for me---for a lot of reasons. I always thought that having Paige would cure me of the infertility woes. I scoffed during adoption classes that said over and over that adoption wasn't a cure all. How could you still be sad when you finally have a child?  And it is true, for a long time I had a baby and it was fine, I didn't think about it. But Paige is almost 2,  I am almost 30. Windows feel like they are closing, whether they really are or not, they feel that way. I get asked all the time when we are going to have another baby, and it frustrates me. I wish I had any control over the situation. I wish I knew how, or when, or what to do in any way. This time around feels even more discouraging because I simply don't know what to do. I do know that I am scared. I am scared to go through the same things I went through for years before Paige came along. It was hurtful in a lot of ways and to do all that and take care of Paige sounds daunting. We are totally open to another adoption but we aren't able to go the same route we went through last time. I don't know when or how or if or what we can do, or what the right thing to do is. I know what I want to have happen, but I don't know how to get there. It's hard not to have any idea about what to do. I do feel very blessed to have Paige and I am so grateful to have our little family. I may have to learn that this may be it for us, but I hope not. I would love  Paige to have a sibling. I hate being baby hungry, seriously one of the worst feelings ever!

 

In addition to all those feelings, Paige's birthday is a serious time of reflection for me. Every single day I think about what it felt like 2 years ago, I think about Paige's birth mom and how much we love her and miss her and her family. Times goes by and we all change and get older and move on a bit, which is so great. I wouldn't want it any other way. I just don't want to forget any of those feelings, emotions, or events. I don't want them to forget how much we love them, think about them, and are grateful for them. Enough of my ramblings. We have lots to be thankful for and I am excited for the next few weeks. I am sure things will be busy if anything, and I have learned busy is good!

Is that progress I see?

These crappy phone pictures do little justice, let's just say I am RELIEVED that my months of paint research have paid off. I snuck a peak last night, right before dark, and had a freak out moment. It was not anything like I pictured it being. When I saw it today, at noon, completely dry, I changed my other mind and fell in love. Yes---it is dark, and yes----that is on purpose! Honestly, when you walk in the room, it feels crisp and cozy. It will look amazing with my floors, built-ins, mantle and decor. I like my blue more each time I see it. I was shocked at how blue it was at first, but it looks so clean and fresh. It contrasts great with the dark color. All the rooms are the same, except for Mark's office which is one shade lighter. The blue is same in all the other rooms.

Front room to kitchen

2nd bedroom

 Hallway to bedrooms and bathroom on the left

1st bedroom

Entry and doors to Mark's office

1st bedroom looking into hallway and main living room

Standing at the edge of the kitchen looking into living room and hallway to bedrooms

Bonus bedroom

Kitchen--this wall will mostly be covered in cabinets, but it shows how silver my blue looks in certain light.



Mark's office color is gorgeous, I almost wonder if I should have carried through into other rooms. I think with his manly wood floors and chocolate glazed cabinets, this room will be very regal.

Looking straight into the office

Corner of the office. This color changes a lot depending on the light

LOVE my siding color. I can't wait to see it on the front where I have lots more white trim and rock.

The smaller garage  door on the backside--it matches the doors on the front.

The entire back of the house is finished now, and with the white corners and trim, it looks amazing. I was so stuck on doing a dark red, but am glad Mark insisted on the grey. It looks unbelievable. He gets all the credit on this one!

Perhaps the cutest scarecrow that ever walked the Earth

She and Grandpa have a pretty special relationship. She loves her Grandpa so much, and I am pretty sure the feeling is mutual. The other day she wanted him to play with her. She said, " 'Mon Boppa, run!" For some reasom her "c'mon" drops the C.

We had to keep giving her suckers so she would leave the hat alone. Mark and I went to raid her candy bag, and apparently the candy givers allowed Paige to pick out what she wanted. Her entire bag is suckers. Nothing worth stealing that's for sure!

Honestly?!!

 



Distraction

I feel like I am generally an easily distracted person, but lately the house is all consuming. This is bad. Mostly because it seems to be moving sooo slow and I am so incredibly anxious to move in. My hope is by Thanksgiving. That particular hope is fading at the moment. A few months ago, Mark decided he wanted to go the BYU vs Georgia Tech game. Since my brother lives in Atlanta and BYU looked like it might be good at the time, we went ahead and booked the trip. As the trip rolled around, Paige came down with yet another double ear infection, a million decisions needed to be made on the house, and BYU's season had ceased to be exciting. I almost cancelled, but I really wanted to see my brother and his family. The big, freak snowstorm clinched my desire to visit a warmer climate. I was hoping the trip would be a big distraction and that when I came home I would find a bunch of progress. At least part of that sentence happened.

Paige was AMAZING on the plane. The snow delayed us by 2 hours and we missed our direct flight to Atlanta, instead we had a few layovers and 2 connections. We left our house at 5:30 AM and reached Atlanta at 10:30 PM.  It was a long day and my little one was a trooper. I also discovered that first class is a luxury I only wish I could afford every time I traveled. It makes a big difference, especially with a little one.

Georgia is beautiful and I have once again fallen in love with the South. I love everything about it. I would pack up and move in a instant! I loved seeing my family. It is a rare occasion and I cherish it. My sister-in-law basically puts me to shame as a mother and threw the most amazing He-Man party ever. The BYU game turned out to be really fun, and winning GT's homecoming game felt pretty good. The Southern hospitality was evident at the game, minus the protesters that I thought only hit up the Conference Center. Apparently they follow us Mormons around, hoping that they are more effective at other venues. I learned on my way to the game that Brigham Young is burning in hell and I will soon join him. Not too worried as of yet. There are days I feel I might burn in hell, but not because of Brigham Young.

It was a pretty low key trip, we did hit up the Coke museum where Paige fell in love with the Polar Bear and the rest of us fell in the love with the tasting room. The other exhibits were pretty ridiculous. We ate to much which is the standard on any vacation, but the melt-in-your-mouth BBQ and amazing birthday cake were more than worth it.

We had a 5 hour layover in SLC. We spent the time enjoying the wonders of the airport including but not limited to the moving walkways, sensored soap dispensers and faucets, riding vacuum cleaners, and helping Dad cart luggage.

 

Mark and I enjoying the game

Despite the confused look, Paige LOVED this bear. It was pretty amazing for a person in a costume. The eyes and mouth moved and Paige was enthralled. It was a constant fight keeping her from darting back to the bear.

Paige channeling her inner Sh'Gora. The girl loved the sword and was one of the few kids who refused to put it down. At one point, she stole another one and was packing two. She gave the pinata a good whack with it but didn't produce much results. I love watching her with bigger kids, she thinks she fits right in--I guess she does!

They had this really cool swing, much better than the black harness things we have here. She loves a good swing.

Paige has never met a stranger and loves anyone who will give her attention. She could be found climbing into any unassuming lap. She feels like sitting cross-legged is an open invitation, whether your have lap space or not. Here she enjoyed some good bedtimes stories with Sam and Caden. She was pretty much in love with them both.

This is Caden's roller coaster ride that Paige wishes she could steal. She rode this thing over and over and over again.

Ya......Courtney made this, yes all of it, from scratch, and yes it is edible. This cake also is dairy and egg free yet still tasted delicious. I can make a killer cake from a mix, and if lucky, can frost it.

Gum paste people, this is gum paste.

Here are a few pictures of the house all trimmed out. This is how it looked when I left it. I haven't been inside since we got home. I do know nothing happened on the outside, I am hoping the painter has made a lot of progress on the inside. The paint will make a lot of my trim features actually visible on camera.

Bonus room to bonus bedroom. On the left is the bathroom.

Bonus room looking from the bedroom. This is gonna be cool someday when we have furniture for it.

Looking into the master. There are 3 windows, but couldn't get them all in. The brown in the tray is bead board.

My pantry, better learn the art of food storage!

My cool transom my builder lovingly put up with. I was really excited about this request. He was not, but he figured it out and did a great job!

The kids' bathroom. This bead board also highlights one wall in each of the children's bedrooms. It will look great bright white contrasted with my dark paint.

 

In other news, Mark's cancer scan was clear again---minus the reoccurring pneumonia he can't seem to kick. They initially thought it was reoccurring NHL without taking into consideration Mark's current medical history, gave Mark a few goosebumps seeing those words on the report. Depending on his blood work, he might need some sort of infusion to help him survive flu season.  Here's to hoping next post shows lots of progress!

Snot, Snot, and a Little Construction

Oh September, glad we survived you! A wicked virus invaded our house and refused to go away. We all had a cold for weeks until it turned into double ear infections for Mark and Paige, a sinus infection for Mark, croup for Paige, and a secondary infection complete with mouth sores for me. It was a lot of fun. Paige and I are feeling much better, but poor Mark is still struggling and we hope he gets feeling better soon.  This particular day, Paige was fighting a 104 degree fever. It stuck around for two days. The following week, she had the flu. We were pretty grateful for the washing machine.

After we finally felt like we could leave the house, Paige and I went right to work making some important decisions. Paint----how I loathe picking out paint. I have the perfect scheme in my head, but trying to translate that is becoming a challenge. I have seriously agonized over paint for months, pinning, googling, researching, being super forward and inviting myself over to look at other people's paint, and hitting up the home show. The home show didn't help at all, unless you are looking for beige, there was plenty of beige. Paige and I finally hit up Sherwin Williams and few other stores and bought about a dozen sample pints. The sheetrock guys gave me some scraps and away we went. My mom came out to help and set up Paige with her own little paint project.

Grandma is so smart! Paige took her rock painting pretty seriously and left the really messy stuff alone. I really liked a lot of my choices, but narrowed it down pretty quickly.

The top color will go in Mark's office where there isn't much natural light. The darker shade will go in the entry, main room, kids' rooms, hallway, and bathroom. It will be set off with a bunch of white trim, built-ins, and bead board. I like the dramatic look of dark paint contrasted with white. They are the same color, just different percentages. The blues are different and have caused me anxiety. I want the perfect gray/blue. I have seen one of these shades in two different homes and love it, the other may have a little more gray in it, but I am afraid to commit to it since I haven't seen it in person.

Yes----they really are different! I am being teased for agonizing over colors that are very close. I probably can't go wrong either way, right!?! Feel free to weigh in on your favorite. I still don't know what I will do. I do feel pretty confident about what I want for my kitchen and bathroom floors.....

 

This is also my cabinet color, minus the bead board. I want a simple, more shaker style look. I know, I am crazy and won't be doing real hardwoods or tile. Honestly, I have had them both and hated them. Someday when I live alone and have a maid, I will have them again. I love this vinyl for so many reasons. It looks really good, is essentially indestructible, and easy to clean. 

 

The sheetrock has since been taped and textured, but here are some shots of actual walls in the home. The sheetrock guys were awesome and super fast. I am getting so anxious to see things move along. We have officially been in our disgusting rental for a year. I have once again channeled my inner Laura Ingalls to heat our home. I hate the fire building and want a real furnace again!

A little out of focus on this last one, I take all these on my old school phone.

 

 

I wish this picture was better and you could actually see Paige. She is sleeping in the tractor buddy seat. Lately she hates nap time and it is a daily fight to get her to take one. She still really needs a nap and if she doesn't get one is crazy tired in the evening. Mark has been doing a lot of the excavation work and is really good about letting Paige go along. She loves the tractor which makes Mark very happy. Before too long, she was fast asleep sitting straight up. So funny! I am hoping the nap hating is a phase. After an hour fight, she will usually succumb, but I would rather not have to fight her to do it.

 

General Conference was last weekend and it was wonderful. I LOVE conference weekend! I need it so desperately. I was worried I wouldn't be able to watch it much with Paige around, but she played pretty good and really loved the choir. She was enthralled and clapped when they finished. I can't wait to read my favorite talks, there were so many good ones. I needed the pick me up and re-commitment to better myself and repent for all my short comings. I love the Brethren!

 

 

Last but not least, I can't help myself and must post Paige's Halloween costume. I saw this initially on Pinterest and found a gal who could make it for me. I wanted Paige to be a scarecrow last year, but couldn't find one that was girly. I saw this and gasped. I can't wait to see Paige in it. Paige doesn't want to keep the hat on, and I am plotting ways to make her. It is so darn cute! The girl that made this is amazing and is doing a bunch of cute costumes this month.

 

Pretty stinkin' cute!