New Balance

I like to pretend I am a runner. I am one of those runners who have a love/hate relationship with the sport. I love when I am done, I hate when it is on the "to do" list. I also run to finish, not to win. I like to plod around and hack out a few miles and if it takes me twice as long as others, I usually feel ok about that. I remember when I ran my first marathon, I was warming up at the starting line with an elderly man in a full back brace. I got a little nervous about receiving the beatdown from him, and that was the most pressure I have put on myself in a race---"don't finish last, don't let the guy in traction beat me."

When Mark got sick, I decided it would be cool to do another marathon and to do it for a purpose. I am only a few weeks into training, and I don't know if "cool" is the word I would use to describe it anymore. I don't remember it being this laborious and painful the first time around. I can only remember how good it felt to say I had actually finished it. I must have selective memory. I have learned one thing from running, shoes matter! Shoes can make or break me, my body doesn't love the strain running puts on it, but it is bearable with a good pair of shoes. I always try to wear my old ones too long, and I always regret it. This year was no different. My joints were killing me as I trudged in my heavily worn, but rather attractive shoes. I should care more about performance than appearance, but I am a girl, and I do have a slight matching fetish. I swore to myself a long time ago that I would never own a pair of New Balances because they are ugly and have this huge "N" on the side of the shoe. They couldn't come up with a better logo? Didn't some kid come up with the Nike swoosh? Aren't there people whose job it is to brand things? Really, the best you could come up with is a huge "N"? Alas, here are my new shoes:

I hate to say it, but I love them. They are incredibly comfortable and my hips are so glad.  As I stared at the unfortunate branding the other night, I decided this is exactly what Mark and I are trying to do with our lives, we are trying to find a "new balance." I feel like the last few months have gone so fast. Our lives flipped upside down, but it is now finding itself back on track, in balance. There is a definite light at the end of this tunnel. However, I don't think it will ever officially leave. Mark and I are different now. Our home visit is this next week, and it might change our lives more so than anything else we have ever had to deal with yet. I go back to work soon and it feels like obstacles are flying from every direction. I hope that whatever happens in the next few months, Mark and I are able to figure out how to maintain balance in our lives, a good "new balance."

Mark had his fifth cycle of chemotherapy yesterday.  He is officially on the downhill slide. We are so grateful to have a clinic here that can provide Mark with everything he needs. Mark gets treated right in the clinic. Here is a picture of the room:

We are quite partial to the corner chair. It is ours, we have to have it each time. It is amazing that most days, all these chairs are filled. There is a whole row of chairs on the other side of the room as well. We love to meet people as they come and go. Everyone's treatment is different, and some people aren't there as long as others. Mark seems like he is there all day, and we have gotten to meet a lot of people that way. His body is used to the medication now, and yesterday the infusions went the quickest yet. We got there at 9, and left a little before 3. Not bad considering the first time we went I thought we were going to have to spend the night. Mark's in his spot, chatting with our rockstar nurse. We love her!

Mark wanted me to take a picture of his port in use. Perhaps to prove that he really doesn't have a third nipple and it really is a port. I secretly think he wanted to show off the amazing figure. Ok, it actually is pretty cool how convenient the port is. They connect this to the IV drip and he sleeps while everything else does all the work.

I know that I have not been posting as frequently. Take it as good news, our lives are truly kind of boring day to day. Pretty normal stuff, which I am trying to learn to appreciate better. Once again, thank you all for thinking of us and keeping tabs on us. We have had a wonderful outpouring from family, friends, and even strangers. Mark and I feel insignificantly important. We are just two regular people who have seen some pretty amazing things and have been greatly blessed by a loving Heavenly Father. He loves us, is mindful of us, and we are important to Him. I hope we can do our part in return.